Janky Energy, Freezer Snacks & Sobriety Adventures

Today we're back talking from our cozy corners at home where we spill the tea on life, love, and all the quirky adventures in between. 

Today, we're delving into our recent experiences of feeling a bit off-kilter and the peculiar (or janky) energy  we've encountered.  We'll chat about our cravings for some quality alone time and the importance of pampering ourselves with self-care.  Plus, we'll share the simple joys of receiving flowers and enjoying guilt-free freezer snacks.  And of course, we'll get real about anxiety and embracing sobriety, finding freedom in the process. 

We’re here for all of it, and we’re excited that you are too

Disclaimer: We can’t promise to stay on topic

Takeaways:

• Feeling off and experiencing janky energy can be a sign that something is not aligned in your life.
• Taking intentional alone time can be rejuvenating and allow for self-reflection and personal growth.
• Finding joy in small gestures, like receiving flowers, can bring happiness and connection.
• Quitting alcohol can lead to a deeper connection with oneself and a reduction in anxiety. Exploring sobriety and curiosity can lead to personal growth and self-discovery.
• Avoid putting pressure on oneself and instead allow for exploration and curiosity.
• Sobriety can positively impact various aspects of life, including relationships, health, and self-worth.
• Choosing sobriety allows for a consistent rise in well-being, without the roller coaster effect of alcohol.
• Setting boundaries, taking care of aging bodies, and being gentle with oneself are important aspects of sobriety.

Chapters:

00:35 Feeling Off and Janky Energy
06:10 Intentionality and Self-Care
08:05 Flowers and Treats
09:17 Alone Time and Popsicles
10:55 Healthy Freezer Snacks
12:36 Anxiety and Alcohol
21:10 Not Drinking Alcohol
22:19 Addiction and Three Drink Minimum
23:27 Curiosity and Quitting Alcohol
25:17 Inspiring Others to Stop Drinking
26:20 The Roller Coaster of Alcohol
28:32 Choosing Sobriety for Personal Growth
29:13 Discovering Self-Worth
30:06 Being Present for Others
30:43 Taking Care of Aging Bodies
31:13 Moving Through Challenges
32:04 Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Health
33:14 Being Gentle with Yourself
37:08 Recognizing Inauthenticity in Others
39:08 Surrounding Yourself with Empowering People
40:16 Taking Responsibility for Your Own Growth
46:51 Supporting Others in Their Sobriety
48:18 Sharing Experiences and Insights

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Transcript

andrea (00:04.771)
Welcome back! This is episode 6, the trilogy here.

Johanne Walker (00:07.2)
Hello!

Johanne Walker (00:15.562)
We have recorded this episode. This is crazy.

andrea (00:18.678)
This is the third time and it's been a journey and you just roll with it and you move through it and you try not to beat your head up against a wall and it's just it is what it is and you're just okay.

Johanne Walker (00:27.758)
Hehehe

Johanne Walker (00:35.274)
Yeah, and you know what I really liked is the fact that we're just like, you know what, who cares? Let's just do it again. We're never really talking about the same thing anyway. It's always just added in, but it just was like, things are going crazy right now.

andrea (00:40.171)
Yep.

andrea (00:44.646)
Yeah.

andrea (00:50.598)
Yeah. It's like we were talking earlier. It's like the energy is like janky or something. Like things just feel off. It's an Andrea Aymer original over here. You're welcome. You're welcome. What? It's like you have jodict.com and I'll have, I don't know, Andrea's OG Lang. I don't even know. I don't even know.

Johanne Walker (00:56.414)
Yeah. Is that a word, Janky?

Johanne Walker (01:03.475)
E.L.G.

Johanne Walker (01:10.308)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:16.366)
the

andrea (01:18.424)
But it's like we make up our own words. It's like it's just janky. I don't...

Johanne Walker (01:23.634)
It's been a, it's a, could you please leave that in a sentence, please?

andrea (01:27.902)
Yes, the energy this week has been quite janky.

Johanne Walker (01:32.299)
Ah, yes it has. It's been a very janky week.

andrea (01:38.103)
So far.

Johanne Walker (01:39.915)
And it's Wednesday.

andrea (01:41.022)
And it's Wednesday and there's always time for things to shift and move, but in where the space we're at right now, it's just like janky.

Johanne Walker (01:48.866)
Do you know what I feel like this week is for me? Is I've been outside as much as I can and I'm avoiding people. Do you know when you're walking down the street and you see somebody that you know, and you're like, yeah, or I turn or I duck, or that means something for me. Like, I'm not interested. I'm not looking for chat this week.

andrea (01:51.213)
Mm.

andrea (02:01.054)
And do you cross to the opposite side?

andrea (02:10.925)
That's interesting, because normally you're always all about the chat. And like the catch up and the like, hey, how's it going? I see you. Nice shirt. Love those boots. And like you just keep on going. But now it's just you what is it? It's like you're in your cocoon phase hibernation phase. Maybe you're something shifting something's growing something's evolving. I would say.

Johanne Walker (02:14.634)
Yeah, I'm a connector, I'm a networker.

Not this week!

Johanne Walker (02:29.078)
I'm big time here.

Johanne Walker (02:36.07)
Yeah, and I'm home alone this week, and I feel like I just don't wanna do anything. Like I'm going to do my Pilates class and I'm doing work from home, but it's like, I really just want alone time.

andrea (02:43.118)
I love that for you though.

andrea (02:52.606)
I get that. It's like you want to be home alone and in your space and just doing whatever you want to do. And if you want to have girl dinner, you have girl dinner and you don't have to worry about what anybody else needs or wants or any. You don't have to worry about anyone else's schedule other than your own right now.

Johanne Walker (03:02.637)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (03:13.266)
Exactly, and I feel good because I did make a couple of calls with some family that I hadn't been able to connect with, so I was able to make those calls. But other than that, I feel like I am just in need of solitude.

andrea (03:19.478)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (03:28.942)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (03:32.81)
You know? And normally this would be like a cocoon where I would like flip on the Kardashians, perhaps.

andrea (03:39.542)
binge, do some binge watching.

Johanne Walker (03:42.262)
But I'm not even, I'm kind of over that too.

andrea (03:46.379)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (03:47.638)
So, I don't know.

andrea (03:49.13)
I see it that you're choosing to live your life with an intentionality now. Whereas like you were intentional before when I knew you and we like hung out before, it's like there was an intentionality there. But I feel like now you're taking this intentionality like to another level of your life or a different facet of your life where it's not just, um, you're intentional with your workouts and your food and the words that you say and how you write and, and who you choose, who you choose to have in your...

Johanne Walker (04:16.747)
Oh my god, you're reading a lot into this. I hope I'm living up to this.

andrea (04:20.002)
and who you choose to have in your friend circle But now it's like you're being really intentional with how you're choosing to spend your time to fill yourself up too, right? Like, whereas in the past, you might've watched the Kardashians, now it's like you're watching something else, or maybe you're not watching anything at all. Maybe you're just reading, or just enjoying the peace and quiet.

Johanne Walker (04:38.282)
Yeah, I've been writing a lot and I've been enjoying that Taylor Swift, heiress tour. I've had that going on in the background. I didn't know much about her, but I really enjoyed it. It's just lighthearted, easygoing music. So I've had that going.

andrea (04:45.682)
Mmm.

andrea (04:57.291)
I like that. There's a time and a place for Taylor Swift. I firmly believe that, right?

Johanne Walker (05:00.41)
I'm in it. I had never even had this time before. I mean, my granddaughter's really into Taylor Swift and I mean, she's everywhere. I applied on the visa to try to get tickets because I know that there's girls, the girls would have wanted to go. But I didn't really dig my teeth in until just the last couple of days. And it's been great.

andrea (05:15.212)
Yeah.

andrea (05:23.682)
I love that.

Johanne Walker (05:24.898)
Yeah!

andrea (05:26.418)
that for you because you know you couldn't really like if Dan was home would you be able to watch Taylor Swift's and like it there would be like an eye roll or like seriously in the best possible way to like we loved it we loved Dan

Johanne Walker (05:27.658)
Thank you.

Johanne Walker (05:32.215)
Oh god.

Johanne Walker (05:40.685)
I just don't think when Dan's home that there's time for Taylor Swift.

andrea (05:45.418)
Well, you can't even play Taylor Swift. It's like, what is this? Pop music? This isn't Led Zeppelin.

And like, I love Dan, I love Dan to death. Oh, sorry, Ben Harper.

Johanne Walker (05:54.87)
Or I would say it's probably more Ben Harper, but yeah. I don't know. I just, yeah, I just feel like there's this incredible need for me, myself and I.

andrea (06:10.03)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (06:12.362)
and allowing myself to do the things that I just don't get to do. Like I've had three baths yesterday. You know, I spent a lot of time just like writing and slowing down and taking the dog out and just like not talking, even just quiet in the house, like no sound.

andrea (06:23.278)
Uh huh.

andrea (06:36.618)
Well, it's like so many people rely on you. You're the matriarch of the family, right? So you have your husband, you have your adult kids who are fully in your life as well, and they live nearby, right? You have like neighbors and you have girlfriends and you have other family members that rely on you. And it's like, okay, Dan's away this week. Alex left on Sunday. Alana's away. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (06:44.458)
Yeah. Oh yeah. Yes.

Johanne Walker (06:58.962)
Jan's away on business, Alan is away, and Alex is away. Yeah, that's never really happened. Yeah.

andrea (07:05.718)
How often does that happen?

Right? So it's like, it's like, I have room to breathe for just me right now.

Johanne Walker (07:18.134)
Yeah, and it's like, what am I gonna do with this time? And then it's like, oh, I'm gonna do this, and then I'm like, actually, I'm not gonna do anything. Dan bought me a bunch of flowers before he left. He's like, here, I brought you these homes so you wouldn't forget me.

andrea (07:34.05)
Hello, dramatic.

Johanne Walker (07:37.706)
Honestly, I'm really into it though. It's like, thank you, I love these, you know? Like, I mean, it was just fun, because that's how he is, but it was just like, I do get to see them and they're everywhere and it's beautiful. I do too, and it's like, I never want to get, I never want that to be tiresome. Like you should, if you want to buy me flowers, you should buy me flowers.

andrea (07:40.238)
What?

andrea (07:46.582)
Yeah.

andrea (07:59.618)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (08:05.558)
Yeah. And if you wanna buy yourself flowers, you buy yourself flowers. And if you wanna buy your girlfriend flowers, you buy your girlfriend flowers, right? Like it's...

Johanne Walker (08:10.238)
You buy yourself flowers.

Thank you. Thank you for doing that, by the way. Because I had my little granddaughter, Hope, came over. Yeah, so you went to the corner store with Hope, my nine-year-old, to get Mentos. Because she'd never had Mentos before. So you're like, I'm going to take you. She bought a stuffy that was holding a Mentos. I don't even know what's going on in that world.

andrea (08:17.895)
I didn't do it. Hope bought it. Hope bought it. It wasn't me.

andrea (08:24.032)
To get Mentos!

andrea (08:36.586)
I think they're called like snack, snack poodles? Oh, okay. Snack doodles or something like that?

Johanne Walker (08:39.914)
I think she made that up. She said snack doodles or anyway. So you're like, have you even had a Mentos? And she's like, no. And then you're like, well, we're going to change that today. So there you guys go off to go get Mentos and

andrea (08:53.886)
And you have a little bit of a break too to like, okay, right? It's like, we got this. We're gonna go get some Mentos here.

Johanne Walker (08:57.761)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (09:02.022)
Yeah, thank you for that. And then you guys came in and she gave me flowers, which you're responsible for. That's what I love about girlfriends. You know, like you do that for me and I do that for you. And it's just really great.

andrea (09:10.454)
Yep.

andrea (09:17.046)
Hey hey hey, don't forget about the popsicles too!

Johanne Walker (09:19.922)
Oh yeah, you brought cyclones. Okay, you're right. Well, you know why I forgot about it? Because I haven't had mine yet. It's in my back pocket in the freezer. I'm saving it. It's there, but if anyone touches it, someone's gonna die. Ha ha ha.

andrea (09:21.363)
Cyclones! Come on!

because you haven't eaten it yet.

andrea (09:30.23)
You're saving it. Okay.

andrea (09:36.811)
Yeah, someone's gonna get cut.

andrea (09:41.13)
Well, and I get that, because you made, what was it last week? You made these absolutely delicious freezer snacks that are healthy, but they're also sweet at the same time. So I understand why the cyclone is still in the freezer when you have those still like kind of, yeah, like, like what is it, yogurt?

Johanne Walker (09:48.564)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (09:59.37)
My little protein snacks.

andrea (10:05.014)
cherry, chocolate, what, yeah.

Johanne Walker (10:07.49)
Yeah, it's plain yogurt, frozen cherries, pitted, chopped, cacao nibs, monk fruit, vanilla, protein powder, and collagen. Stir it up, put them on a cookie sheet with parchment paper, throw them in the freezer, and then I take a little bit of semi-seed chocolate, not a lot, with quite a bit of coconut oil.

andrea (10:12.226)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (10:22.412)
Okay.

Johanne Walker (10:36.526)
heat it up and then I literally drizzle it all over it and then put it back in the fridge, freezer. And then we have them. Can sprinkle sea salt. And it is high protein, low sugar, absolute delicious snacks.

andrea (10:42.417)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (10:55.042)
I can contest for them being delicious too. I feel like everyone who's tried them is like, holy bananas, these are delicious.

Johanne Walker (10:57.473)
Ha ha

Johanne Walker (11:04.898)
I have a way, like I have a way of being very creative in the kitchen. I want to eat all the things. I'm not really great under deprivation. As soon as it's like, well, I'm gonna go off sugar. Then I'm like, hmm, what am I? I'm like.

andrea (11:12.131)
Mmm.

andrea (11:23.606)
I just wanna eat sugar. Can I go on the all sugar diet, please?

Johanne Walker (11:28.034)
Give me all the sugar. So I've just created alternatives for myself and my family that hit that little nugget and keep you going and keeping me on track, you know?

andrea (11:38.549)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (11:42.746)
Mm-hmm. Well, and you know yourself really well too, where it's like, as soon as you try to restrict yourself in something, you're gonna actually want that more. So it's like, okay, I know what I need to do here. Let's make up these like sweet treats that are on the health continuum side of things versus like the sugar overload continuum side. And they're gonna tick all the boxes and get me in some nourishment at the same time. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (12:06.738)
Exactly. Because honestly, Andrea, I'm so fucking sick and tired of saying I can't have that. I can't do this. I need to do this. I need to do that. It's like, I spent two, if I look back on all the years that I was in a perpetual diet or I was in a perpetual state of, I need to work out more, I need to eat less.

I need to do this, I need to do that, I need to spend more time over here and I need to do this with, you know, this child. It's like, and what I found is raising a kids when they were younger is that I had my own mom guilt going around like working, doing my best to take care of myself and, and my family. But the kids were also really great at pointing out all my shortcomings too.

andrea (13:05.378)
Kids are good like that, hey?

Johanne Walker (13:08.266)
You know, like, it's like, yeah, you're killing it over here. But yeah, you know what, you forgot to do this for me, or you didn't do that. He pointed out. And, and so I spent a lot of time in that place of feeling like I was catching up. Even when I was at my most organized, I was always coming up with other ways of being better organized. And there's something about your fifties.

andrea (13:14.348)
Yep.

andrea (13:32.159)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (13:36.35)
where you're just like, you know what? I'm not gonna do that anymore. And I wouldn't say it's giving up on yourself or letting yourself go. I would say it's the exact opposite of that. Cause people always say, oh, there's a lot of women that let themselves go in their 50s. And I'm just like, actually, they're actually setting themselves free.

andrea (13:59.193)
Oh.

Johanne Walker (14:00.034)
That's a big difference. Because it's like when you set yourself free, then there's room to move around. There's room to discover more things about yourself. There's room to be more creative in the kitchen. There's room to do more activities that you enjoy, right?

andrea (14:21.43)
When you say set yourself free, what does that mean?

Johanne Walker (14:24.911)
I mean, I set myself free from expectations that I put on myself.

andrea (14:31.746)
Okay.

Johanne Walker (14:33.014)
You know, every woman says, there's nobody harder on me than me. So I don't need any of your crap over here. And it's like, you're right. You don't need anyone else's crap. You actually, you're just sick and tired of your own crap. So by setting yourself free, it means that you're just living in a new way. And my new way is, is I have rituals that make me feel good.

You know, my rituals have turned into habits that make me feel good. And these are non-negotiables for me. So it's like, you know, I wanna wake up with a lemon water to start my day. There's some days that I would just love to move right to coffee, but I know for my digestive track that it's really good for me to slow down everything instead of going right into caffeine mode.

Even though I only have one coffee a day, I try to push it as long as I can. You know, I have a supplement regime that I take very seriously. You know, I know that I need magnesium. I know that I need help with digestion, right? When I don't always make the greatest choices. So I'll take digestive enzymes, or I'll drink aloe vera juice, or I'll have another cup of lemon water.

andrea (15:37.678)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (16:01.35)
or I'll make a batch of ginger fire water. Like I've started to learn how to nurture myself in ways that are healing to me. You know, where it would be like the old Joanne would have been like, let's have a glass of wine and unwind here.

Johanne Walker (16:24.349)
or two.

andrea (16:25.898)
or half the bottle. Which is basically two glasses, right?

Johanne Walker (16:27.454)
Yeah, like, but I think so. Yeah, it depends. Basically, if you have the right glass, one bottle is the last one. But I just think that you make different choices because I wanna feel my absolute best.

andrea (16:35.142)
Well, yeah, but...

Johanne Walker (16:43.722)
because I was in that perpetual state of coming up from the eight ball. Cause one glass of wine once in a while even just took me out. The tennis just didn't make me feel good. So it's like, now I know that I just don't drink alcohol because I want to feel good all the time.

andrea (17:03.826)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (17:06.09)
You know, and I thought I would have a huge identity crisis, which I've talked about on the podcast a lot, but I am more who I am now than I have ever been.

andrea (17:18.67)
Hmm. Do you think you would have had access to that if you stopped drinking like in your 30s or 40s though?

Johanne Walker (17:27.917)
That is a very good question, friend. I'll tell you, absolutely, I would have access to that. I mean, I can't say for sure because I didn't do it. I mean, there was bouts that I was really watching my intake, my nutrition, so I wasn't drinking alcohol. I was really watching my calories. Like I said, it was on a perpetual diet or I was doing some craze. I was like, wheat-free, dairy-free.

I think I was a breatharian for a while.

andrea (18:00.098)
Breath-Arians? You were one of those people? Wait, were you a fruitarian too?

Johanne Walker (18:03.702)
Hehe

Johanne Walker (18:09.62)
I literally did everything. What if I had access to that in my 20s or 30s?

andrea (18:09.674)
Oh, yes.

Johanne Walker (18:20.21)
I want to say absolutely yes, because I would say that alcohol, my anxiety went down 80%. So I think that I would have had more access and more availability to my deeper connection to self.

andrea (18:22.254)
Okay.

andrea (18:27.315)
Mmm.

andrea (18:38.923)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (18:39.838)
and I would have had more confidence. But I had a great life. I did lots of wonderful things. It's not like I wasn't living my best life. I mean, I co-authored a book and I studied with the most amazing people and I've taken my mom job very seriously and I'm a great wife and a great partner and my friendship. So I feel like I've lived a really great.

life. But I did it definitely I didn't realize how much anxiety I had until after I stopped drinking.

andrea (19:10.059)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (19:20.48)
Mmmm

Johanne Walker (19:22.814)
I really didn't know how much I had, how much it inhabited me, like it lived inside me. But because it was always there, it was like my default. So it was like, oh, that's just how I'm programmed. So you just deal with it. I didn't even know it was.

andrea (19:32.578)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (19:41.175)
That's just who I am. I've accepted myself. This is just who I am, right?

Johanne Walker (19:45.322)
yet I didn't even know it was anxiety until it was gone. And then I'm like, I did, yes.

andrea (19:48.867)
Didn't you say you thought anxiety was made up? Like people made it up?

That's not real, it's made up.

Johanne Walker (19:56.683)
Yeah!

You know, and then when I had anxiety, I was like, oh, okay, I'm just nervous. I'm nervous, I'm nervous about change. I'm nervous about, you know, not being able to control that situation. I'm nervous, you know, that my kids are going through different circumstances. You know, I was nervous. That's how I did it. And I took that on because I was the mom. And that was my job.

andrea (20:16.558)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (20:28.649)
night.

Johanne Walker (20:29.314)
But I didn't realize that you can still be for everybody around you and yourself anxiety free.

andrea (20:40.072)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (20:40.094)
And that is worth more than any glass of wine.

Johanne Walker (20:49.558)
You know, it doesn't mean that shit doesn't get under my... I don't, and it's like so liberating. Yeah. I was saying to a group of women a couple of weeks ago, not drinking alcohol has been the absolute sexiest flex I've ever done in my life.

andrea (20:50.351)
Yeah. Like, I don't need this to function. I can be amazing. Yeah.

andrea (21:08.491)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (21:10.186)
Like, I never would have thought.

andrea (21:13.31)
And you've done some pretty sexy things. Just say it.

Johanne Walker (21:15.918)
pretty sick. Thank you, girlfriend. I have, you know, but to be able to say I don't drink alcohol is so hot right now. For myself, like I don't really give a shit how it lands on other people. But just to be no. But the fact is that I actually stopped and it was so ingrained in like my family.

andrea (21:35.566)
Well, because it's not about other people. It's about you and feeling good.

Johanne Walker (21:45.266)
And the way I lived my life, it was a big part of my identity. Girls went out, you know, we went out for cocktails. You know? Yes. Come on over, come on over, baby. Let's have drinks. Let's do it. I make a great cocktail. And so it was like, who? Thank you. Because it's a totally different.

andrea (21:49.309)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, wine, rose, like come on over, have a cocktail, have a glass of wine, we'll have some cheese and wine, right? Yeah.

andrea (22:06.538)
You do. You make a good mocktail too. Just saying.

Johanne Walker (22:14.578)
mindset because it's not about.

taking myself out, which I didn't even realize I was doing. It wasn't about that. I was addicted to that high that I got from the third drink. I was addicted into that feeling.

andrea (22:33.73)
So when you would drink, you would have to have a, you always had a three drink minimum. Like the first two were like the warmup drinks. And then the third drink was like the, okay.

Johanne Walker (22:40.894)
Yeah, I would say that. Definitely, like if you're in the mode with your girlfriends, like I'm like three margaritas in, I'm just like, yeah, like honey, I am, I am back.

andrea (22:47.778)
Cocktails are flowing, conversations going, yeah.

I've arrived. I'm here.

I love that.

Johanne Walker (22:58.902)
You know, and it wasn't like, you know, we would still go for dinner and have a glass of wine. It's like, people are like, oh, you must have drank a lot. I'm like, no, sometimes I did. And sometimes I didn't. But that's not why I quit drinking alcohol. I quit because I was curious to see what it would be like to not do it of choice. Not because I was pregnant, not because I was on a diet. And I was told that you, you know.

andrea (23:07.68)
Yeah.

andrea (23:20.798)
Mmm. Or there was like, yep.

Johanne Walker (23:27.866)
So you just drink vodka because it's low carb.

andrea (23:31.126)
It's like, no, you drink vodka sodas or vodka waters with a little bit of lime or lemon. That's what you drink. Or just straight up alcohol.

Johanne Walker (23:38.554)
Yeah. Dan's always like...

Johanne Walker (23:45.246)
Yeah, because it's like, it's not fattening or it's better for you or whatever you've fed into. But the fact is, is that I just was curious about it. And I've done so many things and I've dabbled in so much that I thought, why not dabble in this?

andrea (23:51.389)
Yup.

andrea (24:02.057)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, just see what happens. Well, I remember when you first started out not drinking, you said, I'm just exploring sobriety for six weeks. And it might be six weeks, it might be longer, it might be six months, it might be six years, it might be the rest of my life. I'm not too sure. I'm just exploring not drinking right now and just seeing what happens. Right? And it's like, when I heard you say that, I'm like.

Really good for you, because it takes the pressure off. Because when you say, when you create an ultimatum for yourself, I'm not drinking anymore forever. It's like, well, it's forbidden fruit now. Well, I really want that margarita. I want that gin and, like, it's like, well, I want it now because I can't have it.

Johanne Walker (24:36.65)
It does.

Johanne Walker (24:42.11)
Yeah. Yeah!

Johanne Walker (24:47.648)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (24:52.034)
because we're so conditioned into this, whatever your hamster wheel is, like it's going on up here. And mine is different than yours, but we're always spinning. And it was like, but I will say, in the last two years, I would say that I have...

andrea (24:59.436)
Yeah.

andrea (25:04.032)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (25:17.35)
opened up conversations with more than a dozen women that have come up to me since I've been sharing my journey, saying, I also stopped drinking after hearing your story. Cause I was a little curious about it. I was a little like, you know, I kind of wondered what it would be like and, you know, but I'm a better mother. I'm better at my job. I'm a better partner and I can't believe it, but I figured if you could do it, I could do it.

andrea (25:24.883)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (25:41.386)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (25:46.638)
Is that like a backhanded compliment there?

andrea (25:52.47)
Thank you, thank you.

Johanne Walker (25:53.662)
And I took it as that, like good for you. Good for you, how do you feel? You know? And I will say this, that the dopamine high, when you have a drink of alcohol, it takes you up, right? Like you get the hit of the dopamine. So what happens is that your high is high and then it drops like this.

andrea (25:56.559)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

andrea (26:12.206)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

andrea (26:17.974)
It drops.

Johanne Walker (26:20.882)
It never goes quite as high, but it's always coming down. So what happens is, is that when you stop drinking alcohol, you don't get this great big high, right? It definitely comes down, but then as you start to function in this new territory, right, your baseline starts to come up.

andrea (26:25.026)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (26:46.974)
And then with working on yourself and staying in that, it just goes like this.

together.

andrea (26:56.909)
It's a consistent rise versus like a drop and up and down and up and down.

Johanne Walker (27:00.422)
Exactly. And that's why people are always like, well, you know, what are we getting? Are we getting Jekyl or are we getting Hyde? You know, because alcohol has that.

andrea (27:11.342)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (27:13.73)
So it's just a very fascinating spot. But what happens is that when you're used to being on that roller coaster ride, you probably don't even know that you're on it. That once you come in and you stop and you make that choice, there's this unfamiliar area that you now get to be played, you get to be playful in. And that's where the curiosity around yourself is. So people would always be like,

andrea (27:28.27)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (27:35.093)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (27:41.974)
Yeah, but I'm missing out. Like, I don't know what to hold when I go to a party. I don't know how to act. I don't know who I am. And I said, focus on what you can do. Don't focus out on holding a specific, if it's a beer or a martini, don't focus in on that because that you can do. Get yourself a beautiful glass and create something for yourself. That's...

that you wanna enjoy. That's on you. You have to get curious on how to make it enjoyable for yourself. Because if you're gonna choose to stop drinking, you might as well make it fun. Because if you're not gonna make it fun, you're gonna be like, ooh, then you, you know, then.

andrea (28:12.499)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (28:24.556)
Well, yeah.

andrea (28:32.022)
Well, it's not gonna last long either. You're like, I'm not drinking anymore. Me. Right? Like there's no sustainability in that because the energy you're bringing to it is like sad trombone here. Womp womp.

Johanne Walker (28:37.161)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (28:44.318)
Well, that is sustainable that I mean, it can be sustainable. People can just go into like focusing in on all the things that they're missing. But, but you guys already know, like, this is how I explained it, that you already know that dynamic of where you buy in that, in that party world, whatever you want to call it, however it is, or that unwinding world, you know how that goes, right, but it's when you're curious in a new place.

andrea (29:04.451)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (29:13.986)
where you've actually chosen to get to know yourself and how you handle things, it's pretty great. Because quite honestly, I figured out that I'm a lot more awesome than I thought.

andrea (29:33.242)
I love that for you. I love that for you, that's amazing.

Johanne Walker (29:35.231)
I know!

It's amazing. It really is. It's like I, and I feel like it's just been in this area where I've been able to really see myself and who I am and what I represent to my community, to my kids, to my friends, to my clients. It's like I hold myself in a place that I got you. I'm here.

andrea (29:50.478)
Clearly. Super clearly.

Johanne Walker (30:06.89)
You know why you can call me at 10 o'clock because you've hit a little bump in the road and I can get in my car and I can come and help you. Because I haven't had a couple of drinks tonight because I didn't need to check out from my life. I'm right here. I got you. I'll be right there. Right? Like I don't have to unplug my from my life anymore because my life is pretty great.

andrea (30:21.614)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (30:24.846)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (30:36.446)
And what hasn't been great, I've been able to see super clearly, so we adjust accordingly.

andrea (30:43.786)
It's like you can, and I'll speak from my experience, it's like I can move through the janky bits quicker when I'm not drinking, when I'm fully sober, because it's like I can feel the janky bits or feel my feelings or feel the disconnect and like move through and process through it and write about it or whatever I need to do to recalibrate myself and then move through to the other side. And like I found like when I was drinking more and like maybe a glass of wine or two a week sort of thing,

Johanne Walker (30:53.506)
Yeah!

Johanne Walker (31:05.964)
Exactly.

andrea (31:13.438)
It's like it didn't feel right in my body. And I was like, oh, I don't like feeling. I don't like feeling this way. So we're gonna play with not having a glass of wine or two once a week or something like that or whatever it was. And just like, see how that feels again and just go from there, right? Cause it feels great. And now I really like it's like, I firmly realized that I can't date anybody who drinks and that's a hard boundary for me now.

Johanne Walker (31:17.151)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (31:32.566)
Yeah, and how's it feel?

andrea (31:44.05)
a very hard boundary where it's like I don't want to have it in the house. Like no, I'll have it in the house if I'm cooking or if I'm having people over, but it's like I don't want to just like, oh, it's a Saturday afternoon. Let's sit down and have a glass of wine. Like no, like let's do something. Like let's go out. Let's do something. Like I, let's do something. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (31:45.932)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (32:04.266)
let's do something. And it's all a choice, right? It's all a choice on where you want to put your energy. You know, and, and my energy is

the best possible health for myself that I can have.

andrea (32:23.329)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (32:24.074)
Because honestly, going into my 57th year, I'm getting a lot of calls for people that are my age and just slightly older, and people are really starting to get sick. Like, I don't know what it is about that 60 mark, but it's like, oh my, you know, so-and-so just had a stroke, so-and-so just had a heart attack, so-and-so, you know, was just diagnosed with cancer.

And granted, all these things can happen. You know, genetically, you know, I really believe it's luck of the draw in some aspects of it. But I will say that I really wanna give myself the best foundation that I can to my aging body.

andrea (32:55.054)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (33:02.716)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (33:12.779)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (33:14.006)
Because I've been taking really good care of myself for years and it's some mornings I'm just like, oh damn, I'm not as spry as I used to be.

andrea (33:26.302)
Like I will roll out of bed as opposed to spring out of bed this morning.

Johanne Walker (33:31.158)
Oh yeah, Dan's like, hey FYI, you're walking like your mother and you just turn around and you're like, what?

andrea (33:35.476)
OOOOOOOH

Johanne Walker (33:42.082)
But you know what, in truth, I felt like my mom walking like this. You know, you know, you know, and it's just like, it's a very different time and it's like all the women that we're talking with, it's like, go easy on yourself.

andrea (33:46.062)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (33:59.842)
Go easy, change your routines.

andrea (34:02.786)
Like don't beat yourself up over it. Your body's aging, you're changing, your physiology is changing. Just be gentle with yourself.

Johanne Walker (34:09.835)
Yeah.

Yeah, be gentle in every aspect too. Like be gentle in your mind, be gentle with the way you move your body, be gentle with the way that you're eating, you know, like eating according to like how you're feeling and nurturing yourself, how you feel through food, you know, and give yourself an opportunity to discover who you are.

andrea (34:28.268)
Yeah.

andrea (34:32.237)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (34:41.034)
without trying to stuff anything down with either alcohol or food or shopping or scrolling on your phone. Like just.

andrea (34:44.02)
Mmm.

andrea (34:50.09)
Like instead of doing the thing that you do to take yourself out, what would happen if you just kept yourself in and felt the thing or the things, right? Instead of taking yourself out or like putting in a box on a shelf over here, I'll deal with that later, maybe. And then it just sits there for 20 some odd years, right? How about if I sit with it now and see what happens?

Johanne Walker (34:53.302)
whatever your default is. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (35:01.965)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (35:16.362)
Yeah, I will say this. I spent a lot of time doing a lot of self work on myself. Probably I started when I was in my early 20s and I'm 56. So I've spent a lot of time. I've done a lot of yoga trainings. I've done a lot of coaching trainings. I've got thousands of hours on.

andrea (35:17.509)
What's possible then?

andrea (35:43.918)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (35:45.462)
being introspective, you know, taking a look at who you are and how you are functioning with a regular yoga practice, with a healthy eating practice, with getting clear on my brain on who I was and who I wasn't for myself and my family. But I will tell you this, the biggest lesson I ever had, the biggest insight to myself

was stopping drinking alcohol. No diet, no yoga training, no coach, no anybody else, no therapy, no anything has literally transformed my life than stopping drinking alcohol. And.

andrea (36:19.318)
and

andrea (36:36.999)
Well, it's like you made that decision for yourself. There was no one else telling you to make that decision either. So it was you taking self responsibility for you and your health and your life and your wellbeing and not looking outside to a book or a training or whatever, whatever it was to support you or to help you or to give you the answer. It's like you looked inside yourself and made that decision based on.

Johanne Walker (36:39.87)
I did. No.

andrea (37:06.087)
You.

Johanne Walker (37:08.342)
Yeah, because what I was doing wasn't working. Like what worked for me in my 30s and in my 20s didn't work for me in my 40s. And what worked for me in my 40s didn't work for me in my 50s. And then all the women that I looked up to through my yoga community and who I had, you know, admire them and put them in a place.

andrea (37:08.582)
Which is... wow.

andrea (37:15.618)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (37:36.346)
which they never asked me to put them there. Right? They never said, this is how, but you know, when you're working with people all the time and you're learning about yourself, like you tend to go, hey, that person's a really good person. I really liked the way they do things. I'm gonna do more of that. I'm gonna get, you know, people are inspiring you, right? And they were, some were older than me, a lot of them were younger than me, because I've always prided myself on learning from...

andrea (37:55.413)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (38:04.438)
the younger generations because God knows nobody has their shit figured out in their fifties. You know, like they're still trying to work it out. Like it's, I believe it's our lifelong journey. But what happened to me in my, in my forties, my late forties in my early fifties is all these women that I held in high regard completely fell short in integrity.

andrea (38:10.978)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (38:33.898)
with me. So then it was like I had to have a real awakening in my community where I was surrounded by because I felt like I had put myself in a situation with all these women that said that they were for you, you know, said that I'll be here for you and we've got each other and you know, I'm an integrity, you're an integrity. And then it was just like,

They didn't have integrity.

andrea (39:07.549)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (39:08.382)
And when you see something like that, and they...

andrea (39:11.042)
So it was like, do as I say, but not as I do sort of thing? Or like not walking the talk is probably.

Johanne Walker (39:14.387)
Exactly.

Yeah, not walking the talk and then I was just like, what circles am I in? Who am I surrounding myself with?

because I don't like them. And I feel like partly maybe I was becoming them.

And I didn't like that.

andrea (39:43.246)
That was a wake up call for you. Like a big wake up call.

Johanne Walker (39:45.119)
Yes!

Because nobody knew me like me, but it's like, when you surround yourself with anybody, whether it be women or men, communities, you know, if you are not feeling really great about yourself.

and you're feeling like they're not empowering you to be the best you can be, then you need to stop.

andrea (40:12.462)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (40:16.558)
Yeah, you need to assess your surroundings here, who you're choosing to have in your inner circle or just certain circle.

Johanne Walker (40:19.028)
Exactly.

Johanne Walker (40:23.762)
Exactly. Because when you're looking across the table at a woman that is trying to tell you where you fall short

Johanne Walker (40:40.506)
And you're looking at them and you're like, I'm not thinking about you that way. Why are you thinking about me that way?

andrea (40:48.622)
Oh.

Johanne Walker (40:50.486)
And so it's like, again, red flag.

andrea (40:55.595)
Wow.

Johanne Walker (40:56.474)
And so I realized that the more that I worked on myself, the more I got to know myself, the more picky I became with who was going to be allowed in my inner circle.

And then I literally over the course of six months started clearing everybody out. I wasn't being quiet about it. And I will say that is what frightens a lot of people about me. I said, I'm not very quiet about it. It's like, you know what? Yes. We're not working out here. Yeah. Like I actually find like, I don't like when you talk to me like this. I don't like.

andrea (41:30.798)
But you're not quiet about anything. So who you are is who you are is who you are though. Like this is.

Johanne Walker (41:42.594)
that you act one way or you say you're one way and you're somewhere else, like you're some other way. I don't act like when you say you're the friend of everybody but then you delete them or you talk shit about them behind their back. You're the queen of gossiping. It's like all these flags were coming up everywhere in my life. But they weren't just coming up for other people, they were coming up for myself.

andrea (41:47.606)
Yeah.

andrea (42:03.576)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (42:10.626)
So by getting sober, I was able to actually like empower myself even more in that newfound space that I had. Because I wasn't comparing myself to anybody anymore.

I wasn't listening to anybody anymore. I was just listening to myself.

Because I realized that the only person that has my back truly 100% of the time without a hidden agenda is me.

andrea (42:53.806)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (42:55.65)
That's it.

So once I started to really sink into that empowerment, my whole life changed.

andrea (43:06.582)
Yes, no one's gonna come to save you but you. So save yourself.

Johanne Walker (43:09.342)
Yeah, but I didn't even realize that I needed saving. Because I'd been saving myself all the way along with all these little things that I had done. I just realized that I was really just kind of like skating around, right? I was going around trying all different things. Looking outside myself.

andrea (43:13.623)
Mmm.

andrea (43:18.862)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (43:31.063)
Mm-hmm. It must be this, it must be that, it must be over here. But really, it wasn't. Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (43:35.05)
Yeah. And it all added to my life. Like everything I did, you know, taught me something fabulous. And then it also taught me something fabulous about boundaries and being in comparison. And that's what I always say. People are like, Oh, Joanne, I want to have a family like yours. And I'm like, do not compare yourself to me. Yes. I have a wonderful relationship with my children.

andrea (43:50.51)
Hmm

Johanne Walker (44:06.078)
And I've worked really hard on it.

but you work on your own self with your own family and do your own work.

Because you and I, sister, come from very different worlds.

Right? Because I can't tell you how to be the best version of yourself.

Johanne Walker (44:31.275)
I can't read enough books for that. I can't watch enough shows unless you write it yourself.

andrea (44:36.012)
Well, there aren't any books for that either. Yeah, because it's all like you can't like, you're the expert at you and I'm the expert of me. And whoever it was that was talking to you about that is the expert of them. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (44:49.186)
But by exactly, but then you're in that space. Exactly. So when you're in this space of curiosity, that's where the growth happens. And that's where you're just like, you know what? I'm sick of being hungry. I wanna eat. So I'm gonna eat healthier so that I can eat more because I don't wanna be hungry. Right? Sometimes I eat more, sometimes I eat less. I'm gonna choose to walk around

andrea (44:58.178)
Yeah.

andrea (45:08.823)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (45:14.492)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (45:18.21)
with an incredible drink in my hand that's gonna feed my brain, like an octogen drink that has no sugar in it that's gonna feed my brain rather than take me out. And if something happens to someone in my family, I can get in my car and I can go drive and pick them up. I can be counted on.

andrea (45:35.33)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (45:38.979)
You can be there clear-headed.

Johanne Walker (45:41.238)
Yes, I know that I can call her. I am the matriarch of my family. And with that, I take that very seriously. So it's like, I realized wholeheartedly that I live my life.

andrea (45:48.054)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (46:01.07)
a hundred million times better without alcohol.

andrea (46:05.87)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (46:09.118)
And is there some days that I would like to have a drink? Yes, absolutely. But I just know that I feel better when I don't.

andrea (46:23.926)
Well, and I think it's recognizing the feeling that you want to drink, and then it's not acting on that feeling right away, it's sitting with it, or it's talking to me about it, or talking to someone else that you trust about it, and be like, hey, so I kind of really want to drink right now, and we just talk about it, we talk about the feeling that's happened, that's kind of like popped up, and it's like we unpack it and work through it, and realize that it's like, you don't need a drink, right?

Johanne Walker (46:39.625)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (46:51.422)
I would say that I would think that the biggest thing, you don't need a drink, but in the time, it's just like, it's like...

Johanne Walker (47:02.738)
I don't want to deal with that right now. So I'm gonna put that over here, and I'm gonna have a drink. And then hopefully, you're not gonna bring it out later. Ha ha ha.

andrea (47:05.272)
Mmm.

andrea (47:17.979)
It just stays over there. Stays over there, right?

Johanne Walker (47:20.094)
Yeah, right? But whatever you are not wanting to deal with, it's really not going anywhere.

andrea (47:32.65)
It's always gonna be there.

Johanne Walker (47:34.354)
It's always going to be there. So it's like.

andrea (47:37.311)
So it's like, don't have a drink, deal with it versus having a drink and then having to deal with it at a later date. Because it's going to be there until you process it, deal it, unpack it or whatever you want to call it.

Johanne Walker (47:44.439)
Yes.

Johanne Walker (47:51.478)
Yeah, and getting sober curious, you can reach out to Andrea and myself here, please open my door. I would absolutely love to work with you on it. We have some speaker series coming up that we've been asked. We have an intimacy series coming up and we have a sober curious series coming up. So we have lots of things coming up that we've been asked to do that we're writing and.

andrea (47:59.19)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (48:11.64)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (48:18.91)
and getting in and it's just really coming from our experience and our desire to share what we know to be true for ourselves.

andrea (48:29.63)
Yeah. Couldn't say it better myself. So like, follow, subscribe, please open my door. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for sharing so generously today to Joanne. You're pretty amazing. You're welcome.

Johanne Walker (48:32.619)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (48:36.246)
Yeah!

Johanne Walker (48:43.636)
Mm. Thank you for being my friend.

Johanne Walker (48:50.772)
Mm.

Thank you.