Sippin' on Success: Two Years Alcohol-free

Today,  we're celebrating Johanne's 2 years of exploring a non-alcoholic lifestyle!  And she's sharing lessons she's learned along the way!

We’re here for all of it, and we’re excited that you are too

Disclaimer: We can’t promise to stay on topic

Takeaways:

• Choosing not to drink alcohol can be a personal decision that leads to personal growth and self-discovery.
• Discipline and commitment are key in maintaining a healthy lifestyle and achieving personal goals. Asking yourself why you are drinking can help you gain clarity and be more intentional about your choices.
• Not drinking alcohol can lead to improved physical and mental well-being, including better sleep, increased energy, and reduced anxiety.
• Choosing not to drink can positively impact your relationships and set a good example for others, especially children.
• Waking up sober after a social event can leave you feeling refreshed, clear-headed, and ready to fully enjoy the day.
• Exploring sobriety can lead to personal growth, self-discovery, and a deeper understanding of oneself.

Chapters:

00:00 The Evolution of Texting Habits
03:15 The Choice to Be Single
06:18 Navigating the Challenges of Dating
11:25 The Importance of Self-Care
25:15 Navigating Social Situations
28:11 Embarking on a Sugar Cleanse
31:24 The Ease of Not Drinking
33:05 The Benefits of Waking Up Sober
36:07 Setting an Example for Others
38:38 The Journey of Exploring Sobriety
45:56 Conclusion

Links and resources:

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Send us a DM @Pleaseopenmydoor and we'll give our 2 cents in an upcoming episode!

We are refreshing POMD, We'd love your input, fill out a quick 3 min survey here.
Follow POMD on Instagram: @pleaseopenmydoor
Find us on TikTok: @pleaseopenmydoor
Watch our episodes on YouTube: Please Open My Door
For more info about us, check out our website

Have an idea for a podcast? Have a burning question that needs to be answered?
Send us a DM @Pleaseopenmydoor and we'll give our 2 cents in an upcoming episode!

Transcript

Johanne Walker (00:01.506)
Woo! Yay! Hey girl!

andrea (00:02.51)
We're back! Hello, hello. Hey girl, hey. How's it going? Do people still say that? Hey girl, hey? I do. When I send out text messages to like friends, I'll be like, hey girl, hey. How's it going? And then I start to think, I'm like, I feel like that's so 2016. Do people still do that anymore? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

Johanne Walker (00:09.206)
Hey girl, hey!

I don't know, we just did. Hey girl, hey!

Johanne Walker (00:26.23)
Well, I do, hey. I don't go, hey girl, hey. You naturally never text me like.

andrea (00:28.704)
HAH

Well no, I just say, hey goddess, or MG, or whatever. Did you know, so when you text hey, and there's like, heyyy, like one, two, maybe three Y's that's flirting.

Johanne Walker (00:34.734)
next.

Johanne Walker (00:47.589)
Oh really?

andrea (00:48.338)
Oh yeah, that's flirting. Cause it's not, hey, it's heyyy.

Johanne Walker (00:50.606)
Okay.

Johanne Walker (00:54.361)
Knock knock, who's there?

andrea (00:55.606)
Heyyy, how's it going? So if you're texting someone, and I had this experience, this was a while ago where I was texting this guy, and it was fairly like professional and whatnot. It would be like, hey, what's up? Or hey, da, da. And then sometimes in the evenings, I would get a text from him and be like, heyyyy. And I'm like, I know what you're trying to do there. I see you. I'm not taking that bait. No, thank you.

Johanne Walker (01:23.451)
Oh, I love the way you give the men the gears.

andrea (01:24.023)
Uhhhhhh

andrea (01:27.991)
Or it's trying to have a conversation in emojis. I can't stand it. And I feel like that's another conversation for another day where it's like, I don't want to play charades here. I don't want to play like emoji interpretation. I'm like, just say what you mean. Like, I don't understand. There are certain emojis that I will always understand what they mean no matter what. You know what I mean? Yeah, but there are like, but there are others where it's like,

Johanne Walker (01:49.084)
Yeah.

andrea (01:55.454)
I don't, I don't, like this is like a sentence. I don't understand.

Johanne Walker (01:59.094)
I actually think, like, I hate K, like K or BRB or, I mean, I just think it's so crazy. I have a friend of mine who I was talking to the other day and he was like, he uses a lot of emojis.

andrea (02:05.25)
Oh

andrea (02:17.175)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (02:18.25)
Yeah, so we were talking actually, you came up, which is interesting. And I was talking about, I was talking about, I don't know if they were asking if you were seeing anyone. And then he goes, how old is Andrea now? And I said, oh, shh. And so he says, and I said, she's 42. And he goes, oh, I really hope she finds someone. You know, like what's, and he kind of was like, like.

andrea (02:34.698)
talking.

Johanne Walker (02:48.126)
And I was like, okay, we need to talk about this for a second. I said, first of all, 42 is young. And second of all, there's nothing wrong with Andrea. You know, if Andrea wanted to date a bunch of meatheads, she would be dating. She would be dating. But the fact is, is that she has like,

andrea (02:50.314)
Whoa!

andrea (02:58.146)
Thank you.

andrea (03:08.43)
Average Joes? I would.

Johanne Walker (03:15.202)
She has an agenda for herself, her life, her outlook. She just isn't looking to date Joe Schmo anymore.

andrea (03:22.818)
Thank you. Oh my God, thank you. I also wanna like stop recording right now and ask you like, who are you talking to? And I wanna like give them the gears now.

Johanne Walker (03:26.142)
Oh my god, are you kidding?

Johanne Walker (03:30.658)
Who was that? So then I was like, it's a choice that she is alone. And I just, I really just want to get that misconception out of the way that a lot of women that are single that I know basically are not dating or are not in long term or any sort of relationship, because it's a choice. They haven't met anyone worthy.

andrea (03:42.743)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (04:00.87)
of sharing the bathroom with, let's say, or cuddling in bed with for longer than 48 hours.

andrea (04:12.319)
I thought you were gonna say 48 minutes. I was like, I'm good with that, 48 minutes? Yeah. Ha ha.

Johanne Walker (04:19.746)
But I actually was like, I was surprised. And then at the same time, I thought, I'm not surprised by this. Like I'm not surprised by this mentality. Right? Cause there's obviously something wrong with you Andrea, if you're single.

andrea (04:28.245)
Mmm.

andrea (04:38.92)
Obviously, right?

Johanne Walker (04:40.978)
Like, and then I was like, and then I actually did say, how many people do you know that are in long-term relationships that talk shit about their spouse or complain?

andrea (04:55.918)
Oh.

Johanne Walker (04:57.778)
And he was like, a lot. I go, yeah, so that's so much better. Ha ha ha.

andrea (05:04.546)
Thank you. I am so grateful that you're an advocate for me. Thank you.

Johanne Walker (05:08.854)
Yes, of course we're girlfriends, that's what we do. But I was so like, you know, that's like so funny because I was out today and I met a girl that I hadn't seen in a long time. And she's recently single and she's like, oh, there's something about you and Dan. Like you guys, like you guys are always so cute and so happy. And I said, you know, that's something that we work at. Like we choose to be together every day. You know.

andrea (05:35.494)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (05:37.446)
I've already been in a long-term relationship where that person didn't choose me, and I definitely didn't choose them every day. Hence, we're not together anymore.

andrea (05:45.378)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (05:50.494)
Like if you want to be in a relationship with someone and you want it to be like, hey, I'm going to open your door and I'm going to like make your coffee and I'm going to tell you how amazing you are. That's reciprocal. It's like it goes back and forth. I call it everyday foreplay and it works for me. Everyday foreplay. It's true though. Yeah. It's just a way of life.

andrea (06:01.46)
Yeah.

andrea (06:07.69)
Ooh, can you trademark that? Everyday foreplay? I love that. It is.

Johanne Walker (06:18.502)
And to me, it's the secret sauce. You know, I don't wanna be complacent or a complainer or like, even when I wasn't in my ideal relationship that was meant for me, I wasn't that person.

andrea (06:26.157)
No.

andrea (06:36.99)
Yeah, well, it's not in your nature. Like you don't go there. And I guess when you do go there, and I don't mean to put words into your mouth, when you do go there, it's an opportunity to step back and like, okay, whoa, I'm going there. I don't normally go there. What's going on? Let's sit down and have a conversation with ourselves because this ain't normal, right? I'm annoying myself. Oh my God, we need to have a moment here.

Johanne Walker (06:39.383)
No!

Johanne Walker (06:52.01)
Yeah. Yeah!

Johanne Walker (06:57.708)
Yeah. Cause you're really annoying me right now.

Johanne Walker (07:06.466)
I mean, definitely through COVID, I had times of that. Like, I'm like, I cannot sit on this couch for one more minute, watching one more show, doing the same thing, Groundhog Day, one more day. You know, it was two long years.

andrea (07:09.31)
Yeah.

andrea (07:17.983)
Yeah.

andrea (07:22.858)
Like over and over and over again.

andrea (07:27.956)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (07:29.026)
Like, honestly.

andrea (07:32.562)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (07:35.73)
And I think that when those happen those times happen, it's a great opportunity for you to say hey You know what I am responsible for my own happiness That's not over there Right like that's it's right here. So it's like so I clearly need to get my shit together and

andrea (07:44.958)
yeah. it's right here. yeah.

andrea (07:55.482)
Yeah, well, it's taking ownership and self-responsibility for you. Right?

Johanne Walker (08:02.003)
Exactly. So you're just like, and so, you know, definitely there, there's lots of cleanups and it happens to me, like every few months, I would say that I go into this little like, where am I leaking energy? Where do I need to put whole, you know, clog my bucket so that I can keep more for myself? Who's draining me?

andrea (08:18.19)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (08:23.022)
Mm-hmm. And do you just, do you journal it out or like how do you go through that process every couple of months?

Johanne Walker (08:31.018)
Well, that's a very good question, Andrea. It happens all different ways for me. Journaling for sure, when I'm repetitive in the same thing and it's kind of a complaining, that then I'm like, okay. I mean, that's why I quit drinking alcohol. Cause I was always in some state of like, you know, I'd like to be in better shape. I would like to be healthier.

andrea (08:34.604)
Well, thank you.

Okay.

Johanne Walker (08:57.61)
So it's like, where can I clean up my diet? And alcohol was always coming up. So that's why that happened. And I changed the way, sorry, you asked me, I'm getting off topic here. You asked me how I do it. I do it by talking to myself. I have lots of conversations with myself.

andrea (09:06.272)
Uh huh.

andrea (09:17.727)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (09:25.258)
either in my head or in the bathtub and it's just like I'm driving and it's like I'm constantly thinking of how I can live a better life.

where I'm more peaceful with myself. So that's like journaling more. Journaling is definitely access to cleaning out the clutter in my head, eating healthy, a steady workout, talking nice to myself. Those are very much my baseline. Like those are my non-negotiables for sure. So yeah, like I just like asking myself every day how I feel today.

andrea (09:43.019)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

andrea (09:50.231)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (09:56.586)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (10:02.439)
Okay.

andrea (10:07.669)
Mm-hmm.

Good. It sounds like you're really refining, being really in touch and in tune with yourself and in tune with your body and your feelings and everything in your life too, which is amazing. Right?

Johanne Walker (10:10.634)
You know, like how I'm feeling.

Johanne Walker (10:18.186)
Absolutely. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (10:24.182)
Yeah, well that was also something that was gifted to me when I stopped drinking alcohol. Is it was like, because you just keep asking yourself like, how am I feeling? What's going on? Why do I wanna have a drink? You know? Exactly, like, and.

andrea (10:31.67)
Mmm, mhm.

andrea (10:41.084)
Why do I have a drink in my hand? Why am I walking to the liquor cabinet? How did I get here?

Johanne Walker (10:49.6)
Because no one will know.

andrea (10:51.514)
No one will know, especially if you do it by yourself. No one will know, right?

Johanne Walker (10:56.182)
Yeah, so it's just like, and then it's just like, you just start to get really clear on where you are and where you're not. And that's true. That was like great access. Like I said, and I've always said, I live my life 100% better not drinking alcohol. It's given me so much more access. And you know, actually, you know what? Today is two years.

andrea (11:04.482)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (11:16.969)
Yeah, you do.

andrea (11:24.558)
Two years to the day.

Johanne Walker (11:25.774)
Two years today. I just, yes.

andrea (11:29.938)
Okay, scratch that, scratch the topic that we're gonna talk about. We're gonna talk about and celebrate your two year anniversary. Are you okay with that? Because this is amazing. Oh my God. Okay. So, okay. I'm like, I wanna ask you some questions and I don't know where to start because this is just, I'm not prepared for this, but I'm here for it. And I wanna celebrate.

Johanne Walker (11:35.302)
It's two years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two years. Two years.

Johanne Walker (11:44.399)
I know, it's crazy.

Johanne Walker (11:52.206)
Shelley at the gym was like, oh my God, it's two years because it's one year. Like I'm just over one year of doing Pilates at BCTO. Yeah, like when we switched over from yoga to Pilates and bar, it's a year. It's a year. And it was a year before that I stopped drinking alcohol. And I got super weird about it because I said to Dan, oh my God, it's two years for us.

andrea (12:01.954)
Amazing.

andrea (12:05.718)
to Pilates.

Johanne Walker (12:17.622)
And then I'm like, does it sound too like AA to go around and go, hey, it's two years that I haven't been drinking alcohol. And then I was like, why do you have to diminish something so great?

andrea (12:24.584)
No.

andrea (12:28.682)
Like, don't take away from it at all. Please don't. You should be so freaking proud of yourself. I'm proud of you. Like, this is amazing. It's like, I knew it was two years, but I didn't realize, I don't know. Like, it's like, it's amazing. Okay.

Johanne Walker (12:35.25)
Yeah. Aw, thanks, Goddess.

Johanne Walker (12:42.026)
Yeah, it's two years today. I didn't even... Yeah. It's absolutely crazy. And it's like, I mean, how do I feel today?

Johanne Walker (12:56.382)
I mean, two years is a big mark. It's still not like top of mind or the easiest thing, the easiest choice to always say, I still crave it.

andrea (13:11.938)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (13:12.958)
I still crave it. I still... When we walk into a...

andrea (13:15.946)
Is the craving, is the craving less for though? Like has it diminished?

Johanne Walker (13:21.026)
I have, it's just changed. I don't know if diminishing is the way, is the proper word, it's just shifted. Right? Like it's not part of my everyday. I definitely, like I said, I've had moments over the last couple of years where it would be like, today would be a really great day to have a glass of wine. I'm not doing that anymore.

andrea (13:30.263)
Okay.

andrea (13:46.995)
Okay.

Johanne Walker (13:48.662)
But there's still that like little hint of.

Johanne Walker (13:55.827)
That little hint of like...

Johanne Walker (14:00.462)
There's people that, I mean, people treat you differently when you don't drink alcohol. So if I make it about them, then I get a little sad.

andrea (14:06.111)
Yeah.

andrea (14:12.593)
Hmm.

Johanne Walker (14:13.258)
Right? Because I'm not included or, um, why does it have to be so hard, you know, to choose like health and vitality and feeling good and, you know, it's no different than when you're on a sugar cleanse and you're like looking at a doughnut going, hmm.

Johanne Walker (14:34.99)
totally I could have. Yeah, or pasta or it's like, I it's with anything. I would say there's moments of that over. But I would say more often than not, I feel great about it. I'm really proud of myself. It's not an easy feat. It's not for the faint of heart. That's what I will say. Because

andrea (14:35.553)
Looks so delicious. It's like the elixir of life over there, right?

andrea (14:53.71)
Good.

andrea (14:59.409)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (15:03.218)
You have to choose yourself every single moment.

andrea (15:09.742)
Yeah. Mm.

Johanne Walker (15:11.286)
You know, and then like I was saying, like, I would say that the insight to myself and the insight to who I am as a woman.

andrea (15:19.797)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (15:22.162)
It's, I am way more of a woman not drinking alcohol than I ever have been.

andrea (15:31.19)
What do you mean, way more of a woman?

Johanne Walker (15:33.282)
Because I'm more in touch with every aspect of myself where it's like I've overcome a lot of insecurities. Like as much as you have those moments of like, oh, that four minute drink would be so great and it'd make me feel better. And it's like four minutes of what? I have all of this greatness. It's truly a connection to self into...

andrea (15:37.698)
Okay.

andrea (15:56.603)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (16:02.91)
your greatness. It doesn't mean that life doesn't have its challenges. It doesn't mean that you get a free pass, you get to collect the $200 every time, and you get your free, oh sorry, you get your get out of jail free card and you get to collect $200 every time. It's just not like that. But I realized that it was the same sort of decision that you make when you quit smoking.

andrea (16:08.714)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (16:21.372)
Yeah.

andrea (16:30.968)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (16:31.646)
Right? It's like, it's just, it's just what you do. It's just like, I'm choosing not to quit. I'm choosing not to smoke anymore. It's like, I'm choosing not to drink alcohol anymore. Except alcohol is everywhere.

andrea (16:36.654)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (16:41.527)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

andrea (16:48.71)
It is. Yeah, it is.

Johanne Walker (16:50.019)
EVERY

Like every movie, every television show.

Every ad.

andrea (16:58.08)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Johanne Walker (17:04.715)
It's like the manufacturers know what they're doing to keep you hooked on making you feel like it's a great experience because I've got my bourbon in hand.

andrea (17:09.218)
Hahaha

andrea (17:18.022)
Yeah. And it's the norm. And it's the norm too, right? Like, humans are conditioned to want to be like in community and be accepted by like, they're like, we'll say quote unquote, like tribe, right? And so it's like, I want to be accepted by the community. Everybody in the community drinks bourbon, we'll say. So I need to drink bourbon too, to be a part of the collective.

Johanne Walker (17:21.178)
AND

Absolutely.

Johanne Walker (17:40.362)
Yeah, I mean, it's that I've never really been, I would say that 90% of myself, like in my personality, I'm not really ruled on what other people think. I'm not immune to that. So obviously I have that 10% where it's like.

andrea (17:50.423)
Okay.

Johanne Walker (17:59.294)
you know, especially when it's people close to you that are judging you the hardest, which is kind of messed up because you're too careful. Whatever. But everyone has their own take to it and we have our own spin on it and it's just um

andrea (18:06.362)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (18:19.146)
You have to just think about everything that you're gaining.

andrea (18:24.482)
So coming from not a scarcity, like giving up sort of mindset, but kind of like from a, not kind of, from a what I get it, like what I'm, abundance, right? Like a growth mindset versus like a scarcity fear-based mindset. Is that what you're saying?

Johanne Walker (18:41.994)
Yeah, and it's easier to say that. Like it's great to say, oh, you should do that if you have the right attitude or if you like, if you like, and that goes with everything in life. But I mean, quite honestly, I mean, this podcast is a place for me to be completely honest. And it's hard sometimes, not all the time, but it's hard sometimes.

andrea (18:57.655)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (19:03.803)
Well, I would argue and say the easiest decision you made was to stop drinking. That was the easy decision. That was the easiest part of it. And then the journey started. And then the real work started for you.

Johanne Walker (19:10.621)
Yes.

The journey started as soon as you decided.

Johanne Walker (19:19.897)
Yeah, and then you go into this place of...

Choosing yourself all the time and then it's just like, okay, what's my why?

Right? And my why is because I want to feel the best I can possibly feel every single day. And I'm on the other side of my life. Like I'm not like in my 30s where it's like, I'm not quite halfway. I'm halfway, I'm more than halfway. If you look at my legacy, I am best.

andrea (19:34.027)
Yeah.

andrea (19:43.335)
Mm.

andrea (19:56.89)
You're past the halftime show, hey?

andrea (20:02.634)
Who, okay, so if you, who would you have perform at your halftime show?

Johanne Walker (20:02.771)
Oh!

Johanne Walker (20:09.93)
Oh, Jennifer Lopez for sure. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, because she's just like, she's in her 50s and she takes her health seriously and she takes really good care of herself. And you can say, well, she has all the money in the world. That's why she looks like the way she does. That's bullshit. She looks that way because she works really, really hard at it.

andrea (20:11.146)
I knew you would say that. I knew it.

andrea (20:21.335)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (20:40.075)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (20:40.418)
Like she doesn't get a free pass, you know, like she puts the time in, she makes the right choices, she does it. So, you know, me and my friend Jen. Yeah, so it's like, but if you go back and you look at the longevity of my family, I mean, I would say that my mom...

andrea (20:53.397)
BFFs, eh?

Johanne Walker (21:06.282)
Wait, no, it would be my uncle. My uncle, Coley, is the longest, he's the oldest member of our family. And he's probably a year older than my mom. So he would be like 84 this year. So, you know, like I, and I just lost my aunt at 83 last year. And my mom's 82, I think.

andrea (21:24.919)
Okay.

andrea (21:32.75)
Uh-huh.

Johanne Walker (21:36.802)
I might be off by a year here. But it's like, my dad died at 47. It was tragic. You know, cancer runs really rampant in my family. But I would say that my mom and her siblings are the longest living because my grandparents never hit their eighties. And yeah, we just didn't have like longevity, but people are living longer today, right? So I'm just like, so at

andrea (21:38.592)
That's okay.

andrea (21:59.029)
Yes they are.

Johanne Walker (22:05.858)
56, even if I make 100.

even if I make 100, I'm still on the other side of my life. So it's interesting to be in that part of your journey on this, right? Like my kids are older, I'm a grandmother, my relationship is loving and I'm settled and I have a great group of people around me and I have a really good handle on who I am and who I'm not.

andrea (22:15.608)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (22:41.358)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (22:42.686)
Right? That's the gift of like your fifties, I would say, when you're on track. And so the biggest thing is for me is to carry on in this great journey of life in the best possible health I can have.

andrea (22:46.734)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (23:03.478)
because the healthcare system isn't great, right? We have to be an advocate for ourselves. So it's like, you know, there's no trick. I mean, other than obviously genetics definitely play a role in our wellness journey. But I would say that, you know, knock on wood right now that I'm doing the best I can with what I've been given and not smoking, not drinking.

andrea (23:10.583)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (23:27.758)
Uh huh.

Johanne Walker (23:32.062)
moving my body, talking nice to myself all plays a big part in my peace of mind.

andrea (23:42.05)
Mm-hmm. So what would you say would be like, because I feel like we talked about this on your one year anniversary or around then. So between like year one and year two, what's been your biggest sort of like learning curve or lesson like now like two years in?

Johanne Walker (23:49.619)
No.

Johanne Walker (24:02.199)
Oooo

andrea (24:04.562)
or lesson or learning curve or I hate to say takeaway because that sounds like corporatey but like.

Johanne Walker (24:14.246)
I would say the biggest thing that I'm feeling right now, that I'm, it's a sexy flex.

andrea (24:22.814)
Mmm, okay.

Johanne Walker (24:24.082)
it's my sexy flex. Like it started happening over the last six months because it's not easy. So it's just like the same discipline as going to the gym or working out every, you know, five days a week or getting on your mat or whatever it is that you do to, you know, move yourself. It's the discipline. Cause it's not every day that you feel like, hey, I'm gonna work out or I'm gonna make great choices. It's like some days you're like.

andrea (24:50.67)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (24:52.242)
I actually don't want to get out of bed and I, you know, but you go because you've committed to going and you have your rest days. And so it's like, I would say that, um, the discipline of not drinking right now has me in a place of accomplishment.

andrea (24:54.484)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Johanne Walker (25:15.49)
that I'm making my own way. And I'm not alone. Like I'm not alone. Like I mean, you're not drinking and my husband's been right alongside of me this entire journey. I couldn't imagine being on this journey without a supportive group of people. Because it's not for the faint of heart, you know, because, you know.

andrea (25:15.662)
Okay.

andrea (25:19.187)
Yeah.

andrea (25:35.028)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (25:43.838)
Everybody when they when it comes up, it's a touchy subject like people usually make it about themselves So it's like you just get good at saying you know what like I don't even really talk about it anymore I talk about it on here, but I would say like on my and my everyday life like walking around. I Don't really talk that I don't drink alcohol. I just don't drink alcohol

andrea (25:50.752)
Yeah.

andrea (26:05.294)
It's like you don't introduce yourself to people like, hi, nice to meet you, I'm Johanne Walker and I don't drink alcohol. You don't introduce to people like that?

Johanne Walker (26:13.015)
Yeah, yeah, so it's like gotten easier. So it's like when I when I go places, people know that I don't drink so they you know, I have a great group of people so they've either made allocations, or I take care of myself and, and I'm very comfortable in every situation today, not drinking.

andrea (26:24.003)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (26:33.162)
I will say I went to a party a couple of weeks ago. You were at your hot date out in Stouffville and There was wine there and the hostess asked she's like do you want red or white or I have water I'm like, well, like I don't drink so I'd love to have some sparkling water. She's like, oh, I knew that you don't drink alcohol I knew that I'm so sorry. I'm like

Johanne Walker (26:43.822)
I'm sorry.

andrea (26:54.718)
It's okay, like sparkling water is perfect. And she's like, you know what I'm gonna do? Let me grab a wine glass. And she poured the sparkling water in the wine glass and she cut up like a lime, like a lemon or a lime slice to put in there so it looks pretty too. And she's like, here, enjoy, cheers. I'm like, thank you very much. And that, it was Krista. That's why I was like, should I name drop? Should I name drop? And it was absolutely lovely. And it was an amazing experience. And I was the only person there not drinking alcohol.

Johanne Walker (27:12.354)
Was that Krista? I know, she's amazing. Yeah, yeah.

andrea (27:26.518)
And it's interesting. It's interesting being the only person not drinking in like a small, like, and it wasn't maybe there was like 10 people there in total. And everybody was having like red and white wine and I was really good with my sparkling water. And it's like, okay, well, I'm not gonna make this awkward and weird. This is just a health choice that I'm doing right now. And if it's a conversation, it's a conversation. If it's not, it's not. Like it's no harm, no foul, like either way.

This is just my choice. This is simply my choice right now.

Johanne Walker (27:54.699)
Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's the same choice to like get up and move your body or choosing to eat differently, right? Because tomorrow we are doing a sugar cleanse.

andrea (28:11.242)
We are 30 days sugar free.

Johanne Walker (28:15.97)
I have to tell you, Andrea, I'm so proud of you for doing this.

andrea (28:21.002)
I haven't done something like this in years. Like I wanna say at least 10 years. Like the last time I did.

Johanne Walker (28:23.596)
I know!

Johanne Walker (28:29.286)
Yeah, because I've done three sugar cleanses in the last year and a half. And you're like, good for you.

andrea (28:38.67)
I know. How can I support you? From over here, where I don't have to participate. I'm proud of you, way to go. So it's like, okay, let's try it and see what happens and go from there. I've started gently. It's like, I haven't had any desserts. 'Cuz I'm a dessert person. I love my dessert in the evening. So I've weaned myself back slowly.

Johanne Walker (28:45.75)
Yeah, good for you, Johanne. Good for you.

Yeah.

andrea (29:07.038)
in preparation for tomorrow and you're the one who recommended that I do this too. Where it's like okay, like get it all out of the way now. So I've stopped having like sweets in the evening and I've had like a cup of tea instead or like orange, like a cold orange. Be like okay, you still get like that sweetness from the orange. I'm like okay, like I can do that. And some evenings I'll be sitting on the couch like after I have dinner just be like.

I really could, like, I like something sweet to close off my meal. Like, it finishes the meal for me. I'm like, what do I do? Like, I could make myself a single-serve chocolate chip cookie. And I'm like, OK, Andrea, no. And like, this has always happened. This has always happened when I've gone through a cut with working out or like really been meticulous with my diet. Like, it's like my monkey mind starts to go be like,

Johanne Walker (29:38.679)
What do I do now?

andrea (30:07.646)
You could have that chocolate chip cookie and no one will know because you're just having it by yourself here. No one will know you live by yourself. The dogs won't tell anybody. Right, they'll probably try to have some. Yeah, yeah, oh darn. Yeah, so I think the last time I did anything that was kind of like more restricted or like diet-like.

Johanne Walker (30:23.017)
chocolate's bad for you can't have any mommy gets the whole thing

andrea (30:36.542)
was when I was plant-based. Like, and that was maybe five years ago, five, six years ago for health reasons, like I was plant-based. And I think that's the last time I kind of was really meticulous with my eating. And I kind of, I shifted more into eating intuitively. If my body wants it, I'll allow it within reason. And that way I kind of got out, cause I would get into like a scarcity mindset if something was off limits.

That's the only thing that I would want. Because it would be like almost like a, like I want what I can't have. So, right?

Johanne Walker (31:13.162)
Well, it's the same sort of thing with alcohol. That's what happens. It's like, oh, and what you realize is that, and I'm not trying to hijack it here, just to make it go back into full circle, is that what you realize is that it's easier to not drink than it is to drink.

andrea (31:24.14)
No.

Johanne Walker (31:33.334)
Because it's like, you know, we always say that we're just not drinking today. We're not not drinking forever. We're just not drinking today. But I, but we both agree that it's easier to say, no, I'm not drinking than it is to get into conversation about having a drink.

andrea (31:52.158)
Yeah. Because if it starts to become there, like top of mind, and you're having conversations about it, it's going to stay in the mind and you're going to actually start to think about it and actually start to want it.

Johanne Walker (32:05.718)
Well, yeah, and then it becomes that. Then it's like all you're focusing in on is something that you're not having and it's just like, then it becomes torturous. And then you're like, well, why do I wanna have it? Like, what am I feeling right now? Because alcohol truly is a depressant. You don't realize, well, you can see it. I mean, that's what I would say that the biggest observation for me is watching

andrea (32:13.535)
Yeah.

andrea (32:20.063)
Yeah.

andrea (32:32.008)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (32:36.018)
watching the party go from, hey, we're having a good time, everything's fun. And then it's like two or three drinks later, it starts to go like this. Yeah. Or people say things they shouldn't say, or they get like too much liquid courage into them, and then they're shooting their mouth off, and they become a know-it-all, and then they become like, it's just like.

andrea (32:47.786)
It's like a light switch or something. It's, yeah. Yeah.

andrea (33:02.03)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (33:05.73)
really fascinating to sit and watch all that unravel.

andrea (33:12.621)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (33:14.098)
It's like, oh, you know, and then sometimes you're just like, oh, cool, like, I'm just so glad that I'm just an observer of this. Because, you know, you don't have like, like a big personality or joining in on the conversation. It's like, I'm always there for every conversation. So get three or four tequilas in me and then I'm like,

andrea (33:23.411)
Yeah.

andrea (33:37.416)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (33:43.178)
Let's do it! Yeah.

Johanne Walker (33:43.338)
I have a lot of big opinions. Not that I don't have opinions now, but I'm looking to, you know, it's just different.

andrea (33:52.396)
They flow more freely, we'll say, under the influence of tequila?

Johanne Walker (33:57.198)
Absolutely. Well, everything flows more freely under the influence of tequila.

andrea (33:57.996)
Yeah.

andrea (34:02.374)
Mmm. So what is your favourite thing about waking up sober the next day after a big party?

Johanne Walker (34:10.171)
Ooh, oh I have like the top ones.

andrea (34:13.898)
We'll say like, I know this, I'm putting you on the spot here. So like we could do like top five. You don't have to give me one. Like you could give me more than one. What's your favourite thing about waking up? Like say you're out at a party on Saturday night and you have like your sober Sunday, you wake up and you're like, this is great. I'm fully like, I feel amazing. Like what's, tell me. Oh, well I'm sorry. I'm putting words into your mouth now, sorry.

Johanne Walker (34:34.198)
Well, you feel amazing. Right? Like usually you're just a little tired because you stayed out later. Like if you get home at like two or something, so you're still fatigued, obviously. But you feel amazing. It's not a full write-off that day. It doesn't matter if you have one glass of wine or four glasses of wine. It still was a write-off for me.

andrea (34:47.534)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (34:58.502)
I don't feel bloated. I don't feel like, you know, like you come up the next day, you look in the mirror or you just don't look in the mirror. You avoid the mirror because you're just like, wow. Like you're puffy. Like honestly, I go back into looking at my younger self, drinking and I look 10 years older than I do right now.

andrea (35:19.938)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (35:28.854)
For real.

andrea (35:29.908)
Wow.

Johanne Walker (35:31.838)
Yeah. Just from water retention and I don't even know. All the toxins.

andrea (35:40.459)
Well, it's probably like water retention and then like when you drink, usually sometimes you don't always have like the best food choices when you drink either. Or and then it's like it disrupts your sleep, too. And just yeah.

Johanne Walker (35:52.782)
Well, it's just so much sugar. And it's literally everywhere. So sorry, getting back, like I would say, you feel great. You can still look in the mirror. It doesn't take you out, so you don't lose any time. And...

andrea (36:07.671)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (36:12.882)
I'm not irritable. So it's like we're sitting, cause you know, you just feel like, you know, like you have that, like you're hungover. So you're dehydrated. So you're trying to like get it back in all the fluids that you lost. So you're not irritable. So it's like, I would say that we're just like chatting about what a great time we had.

andrea (36:19.583)
Yeah.

andrea (36:34.574)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (36:37.83)
after we drove home.

Johanne Walker (36:43.49)
got up, went for a walk. Like you just, you have your whole life in front of you. There's really no downtime. And I will say that I'm a better human being because I'm not in my anxiety circle.

andrea (36:49.794)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (36:58.83)
Mm-hmm, like the up and down, the up and downs. Great.

Johanne Walker (37:02.09)
Yeah, because I would say like lots of times after like the morning after it would be like Yeah, so you said this

Johanne Walker (37:13.802)
And I'd be like, yeah, I did. Because I was part of those conversations.

andrea (37:25.098)
Or it's like I said I said what I said

Johanne Walker (37:25.27)
You know?

Johanne Walker (37:28.737)
Yeah.

But like I would say, you know, those are, you know, and a lot of it you laugh off, you laugh off because you're like, oh, it was just part of the evening or oh, I got caught up in it. I got caught up in it, you know? I was a bitch because I got caught up into it. So there's no more of that.

andrea (37:41.774)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

andrea (37:49.67)
Yeah. It's like we can use, no, we can use alcohol as an excuse. Like, sorry, I was a heinous bitch, but I was three margaritas in and, you know, what can you do? It happens.

Johanne Walker (37:58.23)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (38:01.426)
Yeah, I do get a lot of that like now, like apologies to me. Sorry, I acted that way because I'd had too much to drink.

andrea (38:14.166)
like the tables have turned, you're on the other side now and you're seeing it from a whole new vantage point too.

Johanne Walker (38:18.805)
Yeah.

Yeah, and you just realize that it's like, I really want to, I take myself seriously. I take myself more seriously today. So it's like the impact that I'm having on myself and my body and my community, like my friends and my husband and my children especially, that I want them to hold me as the mom in a good way.

andrea (38:30.224)
Mm-hmm. Mmm.

andrea (38:38.316)
Yeah.

andrea (38:48.663)
Mmm. You are the matriarch.

Johanne Walker (38:54.338)
Yeah, and I take that responsibility very seriously. And I realized as I'm getting older, how important it is to me to be there for myself and my family. And that's by setting an example.

andrea (38:58.871)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (39:11.906)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (39:18.107)
And you can't be like, do as I say, not as I do.

andrea (39:22.894)
No, that doesn't work. Does not work.

Johanne Walker (39:27.97)
And you can kind of bullshit your way through when your kids are in their teens. You can kind of like just be that way. I'm not saying it's the right way. I definitely did it. And I felt like even like in the early 20s, but as the kids got older and made me more accountable, and I made myself more accountable, like as I made them accountable because we started having drinks together, like.

andrea (39:36.43)
lol

Johanne Walker (39:55.094)
you know, like, oh, maybe we shouldn't have said that or we shouldn't talk about this. And it's just like, I mean, like, I mean, how much navigating do we have to do over this alcohol bullshit? Like, seriously, it's like, how much room does it take up in our life? Like, it's just a non-issue anymore. Like, I don't, like, I say what I mean and I mean what I say and I feel good. And it's like, you know, you wanna go over there and get ruined. I'm not judging you.

andrea (39:58.734)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (40:13.849)
Yeah. Wow.

Johanne Walker (40:24.522)
I just probably won't hang out with you till 3 a.m. And I'll probably leave the party before everyone starts acting like meatheads. Cause everybody does. You don't think you do, but you do. Yeah. And then you have a lot of people that you hold in respect and then you watch them and then you just start to lose respect for them because they just get...

andrea (40:37.369)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's the tipping point, right? Yeah, it happens.

Johanne Walker (40:52.846)
stupid and obnoxious. And I don't wanna be that person. So I just hold myself to a different standard today. Yeah. So I celebrate that. And I'm sure it's as annoying as fuck to everybody around me.

andrea (40:55.679)
Yeah.

andrea (41:01.736)
Mm-hmm.

Like, yeah.

Johanne Walker (41:14.09)
There's Johanne, not drinking, not smoking, doing pilates. How dare her at 56? And I'm like, I don't even know what 60 is gonna be like, but I'm really excited about it. I'm excited about flourishing. Yeah.

andrea (41:15.635)
Not drinking again!

andrea (41:30.242)
Well, you get to the point, as you should, like 60 and flourishing, screw 60, like 57 and flourishing this year. Like, we'll talk about 60s when we get to 60s. And I get it, that goal planning and all that jazz and planning an epic birthday party for your 60th is very important, and maybe we'll start the plannings like this year, I don't know. But like, let's celebrate where you're at right now. Like you're 56 moving into 57, and you're flourishing.

Johanne Walker (41:40.466)
yeah

Johanne Walker (41:44.59)
No.

Johanne Walker (41:59.615)
Yeah.

andrea (42:00.05)
And like, I am so proud of you, seriously. Because just thinking about like two years ago, when you called me and was like, hey, I wanna give this course a try about exploring, like being curious about sobriety. And I want you to do it with me, I think it'd be really good. And I was like, yeah, sure, of course. Like, yeah, let's give it a go and see what happens.

Johanne Walker (42:05.187)
Thank you.

Johanne Walker (42:17.856)
Yeah.

andrea (42:25.638)
And starting there, and I remember those meetings when they were Zoom meetings, and just like how vulnerably you were sharing with the group too. And like you dove right in. Like head first, dove right in. Like this is what I'm doing. And I'm not saying that I'm not gonna drink forever, but for the next six weeks, I'm exploring what it's like not to drink alcohol. And then it just kept.

Johanne Walker (42:40.459)
Yeah.

andrea (42:52.694)
going and going and it's like, okay, I'm exploring another day, not drinking alcohol and another week and another month. And then all of a sudden it was like, it's the end of summer. And I'm not, I made it through patio season and I didn't like, Whoa, okay. And it's celebrating all these little milestones along the way. And now it's like, you're two years in and like remembering who you were then and who you are now. You're still, you're the same, but you're totally.

Johanne Walker (42:58.815)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (43:02.538)
Yeah, I made it through patio season. It can be done. Yeah.

andrea (43:22.802)
different in the best possible way too. It's like you're more in tuned, you're more refined with yourself. There's just a different light that's in you now that like alcohol seemed to dampen or maybe it was like a crutch that you leaned on or something like that. But it's like now I feel like I can fully see you and I know that... Sorry.

Johanne Walker (43:24.078)
Totally different. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (43:48.622)
But I... Go ahead. Sorry. No, no. I was getting drunk. Go. You fully see me. I know!

andrea (43:53.962)
I'm like, I'm on a roll here. Can you just let me celebrate you? Like, why are you interrupting me? Come on, take it in. Right? But it's like, now it's like, I get to fully see you without like suggesting, let's go for espresso martinis or let's have a gin and tonic. And it's like, I feel like I get to experience you in your full creative expression here because you're not looking to have alcohol to mark a celebration anymore.

Johanne Walker (44:23.091)
No.

andrea (44:23.402)
It's like, let's have an amazing food experience. Let's have an experience like let's drive somewhere. Let's go somewhere. Let's do something versus like let's sit at home or go to a bar or go to a patio and celebrate with Prosecco or a gin and tonic. And you are a creative, you're a creative person. And it's been absolutely an amazing experience to see you flex your creativity in a new and different way.

Johanne Walker (44:38.722)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (44:43.395)
Thank you.

Johanne Walker (44:52.021)
Mmm. Thank you, friend.

andrea (44:54.55)
Right, you're welcome. And I'm just so proud of you. I'm so, I'm just, I'm so, so proud of you. And I'm like, we had prepared a totally different topic for today's podcast. And then as soon as you dropped it, it was two years in, I was like, no, we need to talk about this. Cause this is absolutely amazing. Like who'd have thought that it would be, like from that one course, that six week course that.

Johanne Walker (44:58.886)
I'm just like, let it in, let it in.

Johanne Walker (45:08.59)
Two years, I can't, like it's, it's.

Johanne Walker (45:17.622)
Well, I can tell you something. Everybody that knows me had no idea. I had two years in me.

andrea (45:28.346)
Right? And then it's like, tomorrow will be two years in one day. And it's like, you go back to like, okay, like I'm for tomorrow, like for today, I'm not I'm choosing not to drink alcohol. So it's like nothing, the commitment doesn't change. Right? It's like how they say it's like you chop wood carry water. It's like, you do the habits, you do the rituals to stay present to stay grounded to stay devoted to your

Johanne Walker (45:30.264)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (45:39.661)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (45:44.008)
No.

andrea (45:56.97)
your goals and what you want to achieve and how you want to show up and how you want to choose to live the back end of your life or the, what is it, the third and fourth quarter of your life here. Third period. Maybe you'll go into overtime. I'm just throwing out sports references now. Look at me.

Johanne Walker (46:11.659)
or period.

Johanne Walker (46:15.366)
I love that you're bringing sports. Oh my God. You think we're in the playoffs and that we have to win tonight.

andrea (46:21.534)
Will she go to game seven? Let's see people.

Johanne Walker (46:25.006)
Do you know when this is so, I'll just end it here, is that when you're watching a show, you're watching shows where you can watch someone unravel in front of you. Like you're seeing this incredible woman and she's playing this great part. And do you know that when someone's unraveling and there's this show that's happening and you're watching someone unravel, like they're drinking too much and then they're.

andrea (46:40.651)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (46:54.762)
You know, you can see that they're sabotaging themselves and they're literally setting their life on fire. And you're just like, oh, this is so painful to watch. I think I need to go to the bathroom. Just to like avoid it, right? Like, it's like, like you're watching something. You're not even, it's not even happening in your life. You're watching it on TV and it's just like cringing you out.

And you feel like you know that this person is just like, they're just blowing their life up. You watch it happen.

andrea (47:27.157)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (47:32.658)
That's what I feel thinking back over my life. It was like a movie.

andrea (47:42.67)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (47:43.742)
It was like I had times that I felt like I had it under control. If you really want to look at it, like honestly, there was a lot of my life that I had my drinking, I was a functioning alcoholic, period. Regardless, it just is the truth. I can say it and I don't have anything tied up into it because it's not emotionally there anymore because

andrea (47:49.358)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (48:12.106)
If I was to say that a year ago, I don't think I could have got the words out because I was too busy trying to protect myself and where I had been because I held myself to such a high standard in some ways. Right? So it's like when you look back at your life and you look at some of my messiest times were when alcohol was involved.

andrea (48:28.449)
Mmm.

andrea (48:39.694)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (48:40.062)
And not just with me. Like some of my messiest times in my life, alcohol was involved with other people.

But their alcoholism affected my life.

andrea (48:58.423)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (49:01.366)
their relationship with alcohol affected me.

andrea (49:05.623)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (49:08.554)
because they were acting erratic. So if you are drinking and they're drinking and they're acting erratic and you're acting erratic, then it just turns into a mess. It turns into that girl on the movie that you're looking at like unraveling because you feel right, drawing your sword. Nobody understands me. And it's like, you can not have adult conversations from the place of being intoxicated.

andrea (49:39.031)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (49:40.01)
You cannot be rational when you're irrational.

andrea (49:43.478)
Yeah, no.

Johanne Walker (49:44.566)
And that's what I always say to my kids. It's like, do not try to look at other people that are under the influence and try to rationalize their behavior. Because you're just gonna beat yourself up over it because they're irrational. So you can't make it right or make it like you just kind of feel sorry for them and come from a place of compassion that they're.

andrea (49:56.504)
as it were.

Johanne Walker (50:13.43)
clearly spiraling.

Johanne Walker (50:18.658)
So it's like, don't try to rationalize, or I can't believe they said that, or I can't really? Like, you know, that person had been drinking. Not that they're not responsible for what comes out of their mouth, but like, you know, like you are responsible for how you take it on and what you make it mean. Right? So in my life,

andrea (50:36.568)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (50:44.338)
It is a very, very peaceful journey. Not drinking alcohol.

Johanne Walker (50:54.066)
It's the path of joy. It's not easy.

That is not what I'm saying here.

andrea (51:04.972)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (51:07.414)
But it's the most steady. And at 56, I love steady. I am so over.

andrea (51:17.326)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.

andrea (51:21.716)
the up and downs.

Johanne Walker (51:23.503)
Yeah, I like me some steady.

andrea (51:27.347)
So for someone listening who is curious about not drinking alcohol, what would be one tip that you would give them?

Johanne Walker (51:32.653)
Yes.

Johanne Walker (51:40.302)
Uh, one tip on curious is just get, uh, just ask why you're drinking. Every time, every time.

andrea (51:50.846)
to start to ask why when you order a glass of wine or like.

Johanne Walker (51:52.446)
Why? It's like we say that to our kids all the time. Why, why did you do that? Just so I can understand, right? Like anytime we're curious around something, we ask why. Right? Like, well, yeah, like why did we go this way? Why did we turn left when we could have turned right? Like you say to your spouse, why did, you know, why did you make that choice? So I helped me understand.

andrea (51:59.01)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (52:02.93)
Mm-hmm. Why are we doing it like this? Yeah.

andrea (52:16.65)
Mm-hmm.

Johanne Walker (52:19.466)
So it's just like if you're curious with sobriety or you're just curious about life in general, just ask why. Start with why. Why am I having this glass of wine? And it doesn't mean don't have it. It just means that you know exactly why. I'm having this glass of wine because I feel like I deserve it right now.

andrea (52:27.086)
start with why.

amazing.

Johanne Walker (52:47.234)
been a long week. I'm having this glass of wine because I'm celebrating my girlfriend's birthday. I'm having this glass of wine because I need to calm down. I'm having this like whatever it is, just really get clear on what it is.

andrea (52:48.489)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (52:53.822)
Mm-hmm.

andrea (53:06.254)
Mm-hmm. Like would you recommend like keeping it in like your phone like in a notes app, in your notes, like in every time you have a drink, just write down why or? Okay.

Johanne Walker (53:13.298)
I will tell you this, I never had that. I never had to do that. I always knew exactly why. It's just kinda like, you know, when you're telling the truth on yourself, you keep your own record.

andrea (53:24.378)
Okay, okay. No notes, no notes needed.

Johanne Walker (53:27.562)
Like I think we've evolved people, like no notes needed. It's like, oh, that's interesting. I'm feeling a little anxious. Like I didn't realize that I had social anxiety because I would have a pre-cocktail because I would have it like, because I'm having fun. Like it's like, oh my God, we're going out. Have a drink, put my makeup on, get my hair organized. And...

andrea (53:49.955)
Right.

It's all part of the routine before you go out.

Johanne Walker (53:55.358)
Exactly, and I didn't realize until after I said no to alcohol that was anxiety.

That's what that figured out. Like I got really clear on that because I was getting ready and I'm like, why am I anxious? Why do I feel this way? What? Like this is new.

andrea (54:13.87)
What's going on? Hmm?

Johanne Walker (54:21.45)
What's different? I'm not drinking.

andrea (54:22.776)
Yeah.

andrea (54:27.355)
It's so interesting.

Johanne Walker (54:29.63)
We're fascinating. And that's just how that showed up for me. Doesn't mean that shows up like that for everyone else. You just start to ask why. And then it's like, and there's nothing wrong with asking.