Bye-Bye Sugar, Hello Healthy Choices!

Today,  we're diving into our journey of ditching refined sugar and embracing healthier eating habits. 

We’re here for all of it, and we’re excited that you are too

Disclaimer: We can’t promise to stay on topic

Takeaways:

• Making healthier food choices and cutting out refined sugar can have a positive impact on overall well-being.
• Intuitive eating allows individuals to listen to their body's hunger cues and make choices based on what feels right for them.
• Being mindful of the ingredients in the food we consume is important for our health and well-being.
• Making conscious choices and prioritizing long-term health can lead to positive lifestyle changes. Making a lifestyle change requires shifting from a 'cut' mentality to a long-term commitment.
• Being curious about cravings and understanding the underlying emotions can help in finding healthier alternatives.
• Self-soothing and adulting oneself are important skills in managing cravings and making healthier choices.
• Open communication and setting boundaries are crucial in maintaining healthy relationships during lifestyle changes. Be clear about what you want in relationships and life.
• Choose partners and make decisions that align with your values.
• Listening to yourself and others is essential for healthy relationships.
• Take responsibility for your own happiness and well-being.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Catching Up
02:10 Learning to Drive and Trusting Intuition
08:19 Cutting Out Refined Sugar and Making Healthier Choices
15:05 Changing Mindset and Prioritizing Well-being
21:19 Aligning Actions with Health Goals
22:21 The Ripple Effect of Making Conscious Choices
23:38 Prioritizing Mental Energy and Overall Well-being
24:08 Self-Soothing and Adulting
25:15 Exploring the Emotional Connection to Food and Alcohol
32:45 Setting Boundaries and Being Accountable in Relationships
46:54 The Importance of Clarity and Compatibility
49:44 The Power of Having Opinions
52:45 Choosing Peace of Mind and Vitality
54:27 The Art of Listening
56:56 Being Accountable for Your Happiness

Links and resources:

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We are refreshing POMD, We'd love your input, fill out a quick 3 min survey here.
Follow POMD on Instagram: @pleaseopenmydoor
Find us on TikTok: @pleaseopenmydoor
Watch our episodes on YouTube: Please Open My Door
For more info about us, check out our website

Have an idea for a podcast? Have a burning question that needs to be answered?
Send us a DM @Pleaseopenmydoor and we'll give our 2 cents in an upcoming episode!

Transcript

Johanne Walker (00:01.582)
What?

andrea (00:01.903)
Me, me, me, me. How's it going?

Johanne Walker (00:06.126)
Good, how are you?

andrea (00:07.791)
I'm excellent. Just living my best life over here.

Johanne Walker (00:09.998)
That's good. my God, it's so beautiful here today.

andrea (00:14.094)
And it's about freaking time, hey? Like, convertible top came off this morning when I was driving to class. I was very excited about it. It's a big day. It's a big day. Very big day.

Johanne Walker (00:16.91)
Yeah. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (00:25.645)
as you should be.

Actually, everybody should know that Andrea bought herself a Porsche. What's your Porsche?

andrea (00:38.094)
It's a 911, a Carrera Sport.

Johanne Walker (00:40.718)
911. It's a Carrera Sport Standard and she taught herself how to drive standard.

andrea (00:44.653)
Mm -hmm.

Okay, okay, I didn't teach myself. I took driving lessons.

Johanne Walker (00:52.749)
Well, you still had to drive it. Let's just, nobody needs to know that. You taught yourself.

andrea (00:53.933)
I see, yeah. But I'm like, it's like, I still taught, I taught, self -taught driver over here. No, I will say, like I took driving lessons, like I took maybe like three or four lessons and it was great, but some of the things he taught me, I will say driving with you last summer when we were driving out on like a weekend away, some things like that you told me and he was like, no, you never do that. It actually is better to do it the way that you told me to do it than the way that.

Johanne Walker (01:16.268)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (01:24.333)
He told me to do it. Because he told me, this is one thing, he told me, never leave your hand on the gear shift. So it's like you shift gear and then you put your hand back. And then you shift gear again and put your hand back. And so I was like, I felt like I was driving and I had this like weird pterodactyl arm because I was like.

Johanne Walker (01:33.805)
Hmm.

Johanne Walker (01:38.541)
Okay?

Well, you kind of looked weird. I'm like, you got to leave your hand closer.

andrea (01:45.74)
I know, and you're like, Andrea, keep your hand on the gear shift. It's actually not safe if it's not there. And I'm like, well, my driving instructor, and you're just like, screw your driving instructor. This is like, if you wanna drive with me in the car, you need to keep your hand on the gear shift. It's a safety thing. I'm like, okay. Well, I'm more comfortable having the gear shift, like my hand on the gear shift. I was just following. I'm a stickler for following the rules.

Johanne Walker (02:10.508)
Mmm. And you know what's so funny is I'm a rule, I'm a rule breaker.

andrea (02:11.82)
Like, I'm such a stickler.

I get that too, because I'll be like, so we need to do this, and you're like, nah.

Johanne Walker (02:21.175)
I'm gonna go.

andrea (02:23.403)
like I am such a stickler for following the rules. And it's like maybe a bit of like following the rules, perfectionism thrown in, and it's just like, I don't know, like why wouldn't I, why wouldn't I wanna do it exactly how my driving instructor told me? And that's how, like, that, sorry, I need to collect myself for a moment. That's like how I am, that's how I was brought up. It's like you follow this step, then this step, then this step, and this step, and then.

Like this, this happens.

Johanne Walker (02:52.266)
Honest to God, I think it's your generation because every time we get into the car, you have your like GPS on and you're finding all the routes and I respect that. But I also like to drive myself. Like I pride myself on going to different cities and I'm like, I've been here before, I've driven here. It's like, I know my way around. Like I really lean into trusting myself and my sense of direction.

andrea (03:16.97)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (03:22.666)
Mm -hmm. I... 56. Yeah, 56. I used to... My parents bought me my first GPS. And this was when I was travelling so much when I was working corporate and I was in different cities for work. And I would have my printed out like MapQuest directions on how to get places. And I would still wind up in a random farmer's field.

Johanne Walker (03:24.522)
That's the difference between 42 and 56.

Johanne Walker (03:36.425)
I'm sorry.

andrea (03:52.105)
I'm like, how did I, like, where am I? Did I take a, well, obviously I took a wrong turn. And my mom just started to get really, really scared. She's like, you're gonna be dead in a ditch somewhere, Andrea. Like, we can't have this. So for Christmas one year, didn't get a vacuum cleaner, I got a Garmin.

Johanne Walker (03:57.385)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (04:02.697)
Hahaha!

Johanne Walker (04:12.52)
I love that. I really do. I really love that. And you're one of those people. Cause I'm like, how, you know, we used to hear on the news like, couple found, you know, going, I don't know, going to like, Sauble Beach ended up on some sort of like back road dead and lost because they followed the GPS. And I'm like, at what point does common sense come in?

andrea (04:41.16)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (04:42.088)
At what point are you like, hey, maybe I shouldn't come off the highway here? I don't know. Anyway, no offense.

andrea (04:46.536)
Yeah. What was like, it was last week when we were driving up to pick up my car. And remember Dan had like Waze and he was like, ways knows the way. And then it was like, screw Waze, we're gonna go this way.

Johanne Walker (04:53.991)
I'm out.

Johanne Walker (04:58.595)
You

andrea (05:05.223)
So...

Johanne Walker (05:05.703)
But it just goes to show you how dependent we've all become on these devices to tell us the right way. And then it's like, you know, and then it's like common sense. So I'm like of a mixture of the both. It's like, I'm gonna follow, I'm always gonna use my common sense, but sometimes I'll lean in, you know, and trust the process with the Waze.

andrea (05:11.112)
yeah.

andrea (05:28.678)
Mm -hmm.

of Waze. Well, you know what it was? I was with my ex for 10 and a half years and he was not a nice guy. And I was the one, I drove a lot because he didn't have a car. So I drove a lot. And when we would drive places, he was a backseat driver. He was like, why are we going this way? Why aren't we going this way? You should go this way. And it would end up in a fight. And so that's when I was like, I'm just going to put the GPS on every single time. And so when he says, why are you going this way? I'll be like,

Johanne Walker (05:34.342)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (05:51.27)
my God.

andrea (06:01.126)
That's the way the GPS is going. And then it ended up not being a fight.

Johanne Walker (06:03.398)
Yeah, and maybe you should have your own car and then you can drive like a man and take me out. But when you're in my car with you should just be quiet.

andrea (06:14.406)
Yeah, follow, like I'm the boss here. You're the passenger princess.

Johanne Walker (06:20.358)
Yeah. So you just talk that.

andrea (06:21.894)
Enjoy the ride. You're the passenger.

andrea (06:29.19)
And so now, I feel like, well, yeah. So now it's like, I still put the GPS on and I can't help it. And sometimes I follow it and then sometimes I don't. But it's like a conditioning that I've had for years and years and years. And now it's like, okay, let's slowly, like it's still there. It's like almost like a safety blanket, I guess. Like it's still there. And I still use it. But sometimes,

Johanne Walker (06:30.533)
I'm so glad you got rid of that dead weight.

andrea (06:58.822)
I go, like yesterday when we were driving from downtown, it was telling me to go one route and I was like, I'm not gonna, are you okay? And I said to you, I'm like, are you okay if we go this route instead of this route? And you're like, I don't care. I'm just sitting here having fun. I'm like, okay, so we're gonna go this way. And I really appreciated that too. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (07:14.596)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (07:18.116)
Well yeah, you're driving. I was just happy to be the passenger. I'm like, I could be a passenger princess, no problem.

andrea (07:23.25)
I'll remember that. So next time I'll pack a cooler for you with extra ice and some snacks.

Johanne Walker (07:29.812)
I'll just kick back, throw on some tunes, eat my snacks. Yeah.

andrea (07:35.398)
Yep, just hang out. Of course, as long as they are sugar -free snacks or refined sugar -free, right? Because we are in it right now. Are we detoxing? I don't even know what we're doing. We're in it.

Johanne Walker (07:43.364)
yeah!

We are.

Johanne Walker (07:51.139)
Andrea and I are not eating any refined sugar. So this is something that I do quite regularly. This is my first time this year. Yeah, twice a year for sure. Some years I've done it three times depending on how crazy I get, but this year is my first time. So we're not having like any pasta, bread, dessert.

andrea (07:55.462)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (08:01.67)
Twice a year? Twice a year?

andrea (08:19.43)
croissants, scones, dessert.

Johanne Walker (08:21.123)
sugar, any added sugar. We're still having fruit and whole foods. So we've allowed sweet potato, potatoes. We're still on the fence whether we're gonna let french fries be in it or not, but.

andrea (08:37.414)
Are they homemade french fries? If we make them ourselves, is that okay?

Johanne Walker (08:37.955)
BEEF

Johanne Walker (08:41.347)
I think fried food needs to be up. Anyway, it's only day two.

andrea (08:46.302)
We're giving ourselves grace while we're going through this process too.

Johanne Walker (08:51.426)
Because it's a lifestyle change. It just got out of hand. You know, like sometimes you go away and you like indulge, but let's just face it. Like our, my sweet, I can speak for myself and you probably, cause we do share a lot of the same meals. A lot of like excess, like desserts, croissants, right? Like a lot of indulging.

andrea (08:53.158)
Yeah.

andrea (09:13.03)
Yep.

Johanne Walker (09:18.561)
More often, it just wasn't special anymore. I know we've talked a lot on this podcast about, you know, allowing ourselves and celebrating. But honestly, we got to reel it in. So it was like, we had a moment, we had a conversation. And of course, Dan's like, sure.

andrea (09:24.966)
Celebrating. Celebrating every day.

andrea (09:37.318)
Of course, I got this, no problem. How is that any different from my life? Like, I love you, Dan, but I hate you at the same time. Like.

Johanne Walker (09:39.137)
you'd want to give up. I know it's so weird. I know. you want to give up that? No problem. Well, you probably should give it up. Meanwhile, he'd be like, are you going to have a croissant? He's like, no. I'm like.

andrea (09:49.606)
Pfft!

andrea (09:53.222)
Why would I want that? Well, like the last couple of times you've done it, you and Dan have participated, and I'm like, that's great. I'm so proud of you guys for doing this. This is amazing. Yeah, like first prize, gold star. Look at you hitting your fitness goals and feeling great and feeling amazing. That's great. I'm gonna sit over here and have my coffee and croissant, though.

Johanne Walker (10:03.457)
Good for you, Joanne. Good for you.

Johanne Walker (10:17.288)
Yes. You were nicer about it though. You're just like, you know what? I'm going to support you from over here. So you let me know anything you need or you want me to pick you up anything. But it's like, you know.

andrea (10:24.934)
Yep. Yeah.

andrea (10:31.43)
I got you, but I'm still gonna have my croissants and bread and toast and dessert over here. And

Johanne Walker (10:37.087)
Yeah. Yeah. So what made you decide to jump in this time?

andrea (10:42.534)
Johanne Walker (10:48.159)
I'm really loving this tea, by the way.

andrea (10:49.99)
being curious, I haven't done any sort of cut or diet or lifestyle change to this degree or more like, like I've been, for a very long time. I've been intuitively, intuitively eating for maybe close to 10 years now, give or take. And, really it's like years and years and years in the fitness industry did a number on my mentality when it came to eating.

Johanne Walker (11:08.959)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (11:18.982)
and food and what to eat and what not to eat and like we'll say like guilt and shame around it and like, I shouldn't have this or I should have that and not have that or counting calories or logging my food. Like it did a number on my brain when it came down to food. So I wouldn't even know what my hunger cues are. It was really hard for me to figure out if I was hungry or if I was full, cause it was just like, I need to eat now. Or if I can't eat now, I won't be able to eat for another six hours.

Johanne Walker (11:19.391)
Yeah.

andrea (11:48.006)
or I need to have 1 ,750 calories a day, or I need to actually eat 2 ,700 calories a day because I'm in my bulking season or I'm powerlifting and I wanna increase my strength. So it wasn't about enjoying food, it was just food is fuel. Food is fuel for the body for me to hit my fitness goals, whether I'm cutting, whether I'm bulking, regardless of what I'm doing. And so...

Johanne Walker (12:04.797)
Yeah.

andrea (12:16.07)
After I kind of stopped doing that, I gave up any sort of restrictive diet and really focused on incorporating healthy habits into my life. So small little things, eating to 80 % full, eating slowly, one fist size serving of carbs, one fist size serving of protein, and then like,

two, two fists of vegetables or something like that. And I could be wrong in these numbers. I can't exactly remember exactly what it was, but that's what I was doing. So instead of worrying exactly like the specifics of what was on my plate, I'm like, okay, protein, carbs, veggies.

Johanne Walker (12:45.661)
Yeah.

But that's what you were doing though. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (13:00.733)
Sounds like the Canada food guide to me.

andrea (13:02.374)
I know, I know. So I really focused on intuitively eating and it's only more recently where I'm like, okay, like I know what my hunger cues are. I know when I'm hungry, I know when I'm full. And it just felt like I was overindulging. Like I love croissants, I love scones. I love like sourdough bread with marmalade, like toast with marmalade. I love that. But I also...

Johanne Walker (13:27.069)
Okay, can we just have a moment for sourdough bread and marmalade? Like...

andrea (13:31.59)
Toast, sourdough toast.

Little bit of butter, marmalade.

Johanne Walker (13:39.069)
So I like sourdough toast with butter and marmalade. Yeah, I love, yeah, so good.

andrea (13:42.854)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, so good.

I love it, I love it. And then like I'm a dessert person and I will, I'm like, I've told you this thousands of times probably, I always like to finish off my meals with something sweet. It closes out the meal, it's perfection. And I'm like, okay, Andrea, like we're getting, like in the evenings having something sweet became not a treat anymore. It became like almost if I didn't have something sweet, like I felt like I'd start to be like.

Johanne Walker (14:14.077)
You're chosing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

andrea (14:14.886)
like crawling up the walls sort of thing. Like I get like anxious and nervous and it's the sugar. It's like, I need that hit of sugar in the evening to kind of like ride me through. Right? So like, I can firmly say I'm a sugar addict over here and we're going through something to see, just to see, like I'm getting curious with sugar and just seeing, okay, who am I without having dessert in the evening or,

Johanne Walker (14:24.541)
Yeah.

andrea (14:44.486)
just starting to explore this way of eating for a while and just see what happens. And...

Johanne Walker (14:52.893)
Yeah, you're making healthy choices. It's like, but it's so fascinating because you're doing it like in more than one place. Like you're starting to really clean up things. It's really great to watch.

andrea (15:05.862)
Well, and like, as you say, it's like, where you are here is where you are everywhere. So where I am here with eating and having dessert in the evenings and having croissants a couple times a week or scones, it's like I'm letting myself off the hook here. So if I say I eat healthy, but I'm still having croissants three times a week, I'm actually not really that healthy.

Johanne Walker (15:11.069)
Yes.

Johanne Walker (15:21.533)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (15:27.293)
Hahaha!

andrea (15:30.521)
I'd be like, yeah, I eat croissants three times. I'm actually not really that healthy. And I'm at the point now where I'm in my middle age and I want to play the long game here.

Johanne Walker (15:31.517)
You're not? Ohhhh!

Johanne Walker (15:43.005)
What? my god. Andrea, look at you.

andrea (15:46.584)
I know, mic drop, mic drop, mic drop, mic drop, mic drop, but you're just like, whoa, here we are. Right? And it's like, and it's not like when I started to intuitively eat, it became less about aesthetics of how I look, because I've been bulky and I've been lean and I've been in between. And so when I started intuitively eating, I wanted to just...

Johanne Walker (15:51.357)
So you're telling the truth on yourself. I love this.

Johanne Walker (16:05.368)
That sounds like a poem. I've been bulky, I've been lean, I've been everything in between. That sounds like every woman.

andrea (16:13.24)
Maybe, yeah, right? Like I've been anywhere, everywhere in between. And so when I started intuitively eating, I didn't wanna count calories. I wanted to give all of that up. And now it's like, I'm at the point here where it's like, okay, foods aren't good or bad for you. They're just on this continuum of more healthful and bringing you more to optimal health or less inflammation. And then on the other side of the continuum, they're bringing you towards maybe like less optimal health.

Johanne Walker (16:20.663)
Yeah.

andrea (16:41.272)
and inflammation and health issues. And I wanna kind of make the choices that are higher up on the continuum versus lower down on the continuum at this point in time. And so like what's lower down on the continuum is definitely like refined sugar, processed sugar, like refined simple carbohydrates and stuff like that, right? So I'm at the point now where it's like, okay, like I want to make, I'm not gonna be a professional athlete. I know that, I accept that, I'm okay with that. Like I'm done.

Johanne Walker (16:41.687)
Right. Right.

Johanne Walker (17:10.071)
We didn't talk about that. You never told me that. I don't know if we can be friends anymore if you're not gonna be a professional athlete.

andrea (17:13.176)
Yeah!

andrea (17:16.888)
What?

I know, no I'm not, can you believe it?

Johanne Walker (17:19.767)
You're not?

Okay, fine.

andrea (17:26.518)
So it's like, okay, let's make the most helpful choices for me now so I can live and squat and move as I get older.

Johanne Walker (17:37.461)
Okay, well, let's face it, if we're not making the food ourselves, then we're really trusting our health in other people. So it's like, if you're having a croissant, and it's from a very trusted bakery, what caliber of flour are they using? Because it's literally flour and butter. It's like, what caliber butter are they using? So it's like, you can't just...

say I'm eating healthy and there's nothing wrong with the 80 -20. I just want to say that like 80 % healthy, 20 % not. We're just talking about cleaning it up and reeling it back because what's happening is it just started to like land base. Everyone could say that. It's like all of a sudden, you know, you're having chips and you're, you know, eating croissants and you know, it's like toast and then it's like sandwiches and it's like good sandwiches because you're using really good bread and then.

andrea (18:08.853)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (18:18.037)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (18:33.781)
It's like we're making excuses for ourselves all the way along. So everybody does it.

andrea (18:36.085)
Yeah, it's a healthy sandwich, right? Because it's homemade sourdough bread with sprouted flour. So it's healthy, right?

Johanne Walker (18:41.588)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's healthy and it's delicious. And I know. And it's like, well, it's not like it's fast food. I didn't go out and get it. I made it at home. So I get it. It's just reeling it back in. I'm really, really happy. I'm really happy for you. But you know what? I just wanted to point out something to you, me and my pen. I realized I like is that this is so you.

andrea (18:51.732)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

andrea (19:04.34)
What's that?

You and your pen.

Johanne Walker (19:11.411)
committed to not drinking alcohol how many months ago?

andrea (19:15.38)
Like fully like two months ago.

Johanne Walker (19:18.707)
So this is what happens. Andrea, this is what happens that when you actually choose, consciously say, like you take it off the plate, I'm just not drinking anymore. It's a land ball. It just starts to like flow. What I mean a land ball, it's just like it starts to like land based everywhere. It's like starts to fall over here. It starts all these good habits start coming in.

andrea (19:22.708)
this is what I.

andrea (19:45.876)
It's like the dominoes start to fall. Maybe? Okay. I didn't even think of that. Were you saving that for when we pressed record?

Johanne Walker (19:47.923)
Exactly. That's exactly it. I know. Cause when you were like, I was saving it because, well, I realized it because you were like, you know what? I really, and I said, you just need to do you like whatever feels good for you. And then you're like, what's so interesting is that's what happened.

andrea (20:13.428)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (20:14.995)
Right? Like when you make one good choice, all you have to do is make one choice.

and then other choices just start to fall in line because you start to change. You start to tell the truth on yourself. So by you choosing to not drink alcohol anymore, and not that you ever really drank a lot anyway, but it's like by just taking it right off, but I just choose not to, all of a sudden now you're like, okay, well now I'm going to choose this and now I'm going to choose, you know, whatever. You just start to make different choices.

andrea (20:29.233)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

andrea (20:52.177)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Thank you. Well, and at first, like yesterday, because we're only a couple days in. I hate to say only. We're a couple days in. And I think it was, no, today's day three. Day three. Day three. Today's May, yeah, one, two, today's the third. Isn't today the third? I don't have my cal, I don't know.

Johanne Walker (20:53.393)
So congratulations.

Johanne Walker (21:02.417)
We're two days, this is day two.

Johanne Walker (21:09.489)
Is it day three? No, we started May 1st. So today's... is it the third? I don't know.

Today is the third.

andrea (21:22.577)
So we're three days in.

Johanne Walker (21:24.624)
my God. My God, we're winning.

andrea (21:25.425)
Okay, okay, we're three days in. my God, we lost today but gained today at the same time. This is so amazing. We're actually three days in. So I was thinking, like when we were talking about it probably on May the 1st or leading up to May the 1st, my mentality about it was like, this is just another sort of cut that I'm doing. It's just a cut. I got this. It's a cut. It's fine. It's fine. And then now like...

Johanne Walker (21:33.264)
We're already so amazing.

Johanne Walker (21:39.984)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (21:45.264)
I know.

andrea (21:50.641)
And I remember thinking about that, like, it's just a cut. It's fine. And I'm like, well, no, because cuts only last like four to six weeks. That's how long a cut usually lasts. Maybe, maybe like, maybe like eight weeks. And then like you, you binge when the cut is over or, or something like that or, or whatnot. All right. And I, and I remember thinking, I was sitting on my couch and I was thinking, I was like, okay, like I need to change my, my wording, my languaging around this, because when I say it's, it's a cut.

Johanne Walker (21:59.28)
Well, it's deprivation. I'm not allowed.

Johanne Walker (22:07.055)
Yeah, I've done that a lot.

andrea (22:21.105)
it takes me back psychologically to like the last time I did a cut and like everything around it and the feelings and like the emotions and the, yeah, the scarcity and the deprivation around it. I'm like, okay, so I don't want to go there. Cause I'll get so wrapped up into micronutrients, macronutrients, exactly how much like, like I would measure out the exact amount of food I needed to eat.

Johanne Walker (22:32.91)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (22:50.865)
so I would hit my goals to the quarter cup or tablespoon or whatnot so I would be exactly on track. Again, hello, I like to follow rules here. And I'm like, okay, I don't want, I don't, and there's.

Johanne Walker (22:57.518)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (23:03.406)
And there's nothing wrong with that. If that's what you're doing, there's nothing wrong with that. That's just not what we're doing. Yeah.

andrea (23:08.945)
Yeah, like, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I don't, for me to do that, that takes up so much space in my mind, so much space in my brain. And I don't want to waste brain power there when we have so much else going on in our lives. And sorry, I'm speaking for you because we do a lot of stuff together, right? We have a lot going on and I don't wanna, I don't wanna expend all my energy over here thinking about,

Johanne Walker (23:24.846)
Mm.

Yeah.

Johanne Walker (23:32.43)
We have a lot going on.

andrea (23:38.702)
did I get exactly 30 grams of protein in my lunch today? So I'm like, okay, so Andrea, can we shift out of this cut mentality and shift it into more like what you said, like a lifestyle change? And as you were curious with sobriety and not drinking alcohol like two years ago, can I choose to be curious,

Johanne Walker (23:58.124)
Yeah.

andrea (24:08.493)
here and notice, okay, what comes up for me? When do I want sugar? What do I actually want? And then how can I take that craving or that need and transmute it into something productive or something that's good for me?

Johanne Walker (24:16.204)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (24:30.155)
Mmmmm.

andrea (24:32.716)
Do I have an answer for it yet? Absolutely not, I'm still fully in it. I'm only, I'm on day three over here. I'll let you know when I, when I have an answer.

Johanne Walker (24:35.531)
Day 3! Day 3!

Johanne Walker (24:45.259)
I'm barely hanging on here right now. I've been dreaming about M & M's.

andrea (24:46.316)
Right? Because I was like, I was... Right? Because I was sitting on my couch and I was thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, okay. So that's the like sensible adult thing, like self -aware sort of conversation with you have with yourself. And then the other part of me was like, screw that. I just want chocolate covered almonds right now. I'm like, okay, so let's have a drink of water and make a cup of tea. Sit down and have that and then go from there.

Johanne Walker (25:05.931)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (25:15.083)
And it's interesting. It's interesting to see like where we get tied into our emotions are tied into like food, right? Cause sugar gives us a dopamine. It's the same sort of thing as like alcohol. It gives us the dopamine. So, but when you make a decision that you're going to cut it out, you just have to sit and get curious about it. Like,

andrea (25:28.267)
Yeah.

andrea (25:33.611)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (25:45.098)
What is it that I'm actually feeling here? Right? And you have to learn how to self -soothe. Right? You have to adult yourself, parent yourself. I know, it's brutal.

andrea (25:47.371)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (25:50.859)
Yeah.

andrea (25:54.906)
So much easier just to eat three chocolate covered almonds though.

Johanne Walker (26:00.202)
Yeah. And, and you know what? And there was a time and place for that, right? That has done you well. Now it's just like a new insight to like how you are and how you function. And there was nothing wrong with Andrea, the three chocolate almond woman. And there's nothing wrong with Andrea here just getting curious, right? About not having it. And like, what are you making it mean?

andrea (26:04.106)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (26:17.866)
No.

Johanne Walker (26:29.225)
Right? So that's why it's like more of a lifestyle. It's just, it's more of a choice. And it's like that with any decision that you make when you start, cause nothing changes if nothing changes. Right? Like when you decide to quit drinking alcohol, like I'm going to decide, like if you're pregnant, it's fine. You're growing a child. You're like, I have a reason. Right? And then you're like, it won't be long. Won't be long. Mama's going to have some wine. She'll be back. I'll pump out ahead. I'll be ready for the baby.

andrea (26:38.057)
Exactly.

andrea (26:48.265)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (26:53.608)
Yeah

andrea (26:58.664)
Yep. Yep. Yes.

Johanne Walker (26:58.76)
and mama's going to indulge, right? Like you have an exit strategy, but when you're not looking for an exit strategy, then you're just like, shit, I'm stuck with it. I got to like figure myself out here. Right. And it's like, and there's nothing wrong with you. It's just like, huh, I really use that for coping. I use three chocolate almonds for coping. Right. So where you could justify having.

andrea (27:15.368)
Yeah.

andrea (27:20.52)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Johanne Walker (27:27.527)
And let's face it, there's nothing wrong with it. Like you could justify having the occasional glass of wine, right? Where you could justify having the occasional three chocolate almonds. But for me, it was like, I didn't have an occasional glass of wine. Like I'm kind of an all or nothing kind of person.

andrea (27:33.735)
Mmm.

andrea (27:40.551)
Yeah.

andrea (27:52.104)
And that's one of the things I love about you.

Johanne Walker (27:54.279)
Thank you. I love that about me too. Like, it's like, I'm passionate. So it's like, you know what? I'm going to say I'm going to have the occasional glass of wine, but that's going to lead, you know, and maybe I will that night have an occasional glass of wine, but then it's like the door's open. So it's like, if I'm already here, I might as well have another one. And like who the hell wants three chocolate almonds?

andrea (28:12.231)
I've already had one, so really.

Johanne Walker (28:19.815)
bring on the dish. Right? So it's so interesting because it's like us being friends. I know for a fact and correct me if I'm wrong, you're like, well, you know, Johanne like I didn't drink as much as you did. I didn't, you know, I didn't need a sugar cleanse because I am in balance over here.

andrea (28:41.382)
Mmm. Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (28:43.302)
Right? It's like how we do it. It's like, and I get it. And I didn't even care. Cause we've had so many conversations about it. I'm like, Hey, listen, I understand that I drank more than you did. Right. And I ate more sugar when I did have it more than you do. But is it really different? We're still having it for the same reasons. I just liked excess.

andrea (28:58.47)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (29:05.958)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (29:14.342)
Judge away, I don't give a shit, but it's like, you know, and it's like, well, maybe I could justify it because my bottle of wine was worth, you know, twice as much. So I deserved it twice as much.

andrea (29:16.454)
Yeah, yeah.

Johanne Walker (29:32.774)
I mean who fuckin' fuck knows? I don't know why we do it, but it's true though. But the whole thing is though, is that whether you're having like three chocolate almonds or five chocolate almonds or like a dozen, the fact is, is that by you making that change, I truly believe this of not drinking alcohol anymore, you've really set yourself up for making changes in lots of different places. So I didn't.

andrea (29:34.725)
I don't know.

andrea (29:59.429)
Hmm, mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (30:01.126)
I just wanted to say that I'm witnessing it and I'm really proud. Right.

andrea (30:04.133)
Sexy flex.

right? Sexy flex. That's what you say. Sexy. Yeah. Well, like I remember, I was 27 and I was dating this guy and he was 13 years, he was 40, he was 13 years older than me. And, he was a drinker, like he was a big drinker. And even back then, like I would have maybe the odd glass of wine here and there, but I never really drank to excess.

Johanne Walker (30:11.622)
Sexy flex.

andrea (30:34.244)
And I remember the moment when I knew it was gonna not work out with him. And not just because he was 13 years older and just, no. It was, we went somewhere and he was completely comfortable with going to a pub and just hanging out and having a couple of pints on a Saturday night. And that was good. That was good. That was perfect for him. And I remember going there.

Johanne Walker (30:59.811)
Yeah, I get that. I get that.

andrea (31:04.227)
meeting him there. And I'm like, this is kind of boring. Like I, like, I don't want to like, I want to do stuff. Like, I just don't want to sit here and like have a glass of wine, and then another glass of wine, and then another glass of wine. And then all of a sudden, we're doing shots. Like, like, I don't I don't want to just do this. Like, is this, this is it? Is this it? Is this what being in a relationship is this it? And so I remember I remember that and

Johanne Walker (31:10.051)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (31:20.931)
Is that it?

andrea (31:33.347)
I started, like I just thought about it the other day because he kind of crawled out of the woodwork and messaged me and was like, hey, how's it going? And he did, he did. And right, and I'm like, no.

Johanne Walker (31:39.554)
Did he? Course he did. Cause your energy has changed. It's like, it seems like you're saying that a lot lately, that there's people crawling out of the woodwork, Jo. And I'm like, of course they are.

andrea (31:46.403)
Yeah.

andrea (31:52.163)
Like there have been a lot of exes that have crawled out of the woodwork lately. And...

Johanne Walker (31:59.105)
I'm not surprised, goddess, I'm not surprised.

andrea (32:02.369)
Thanks. And like, we like, how's it going? I'm great. How are you? So fill, like, how's your life in the last like 15 years or so? Like, give me the Coles Notes version, like go and go and go. And like, I felt like it might have been like starting to lead into like, hey, we should get together for a beverage. And I said to him, I'm like, OK, like, I'm just going to let you know. I'm like, I co -host a podcast. It's really great. We have a lot of fun. It's really important to me. And also, I don't drink alcohol.

Johanne Walker (32:06.241)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (32:10.721)
Yeah, hi Ben!

andrea (32:31.841)
Like I don't drink any alcohol anymore and it's not on my radar and I just felt like I should let you know because this is a really important part of my life. And yeah, it was like a, dot dot dot. Okay, good. That's great, good for you. And then the conversation totally died right after that.

Johanne Walker (32:32.865)
Johanne Walker (32:45.792)
I don't think I want to get together anymore.

Johanne Walker (32:53.152)
I find that so funny because it's like sometimes when I say I don't drink alcohol anymore and they're like, so now you're Mother Teresa. And I'm like, well, I never said that.

andrea (33:04.5)
Like I am a woman of one thing or the other, but maybe not that far down the path here. Yeah, it's really funny. It's very interesting.

Johanne Walker (33:12.735)
Yeah. Funny. Yeah. Well, I really think that that's why you and Dom broke up too. Was alcohol.

andrea (33:22.111)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, like, it was...

Johanne Walker (33:27.775)
No? Like, I don't know.

andrea (33:29.887)
I'm trying to think. He drank a lot. He drank a lot more than I did. And like, when you're around someone who drinks more, or I'll speak for myself, when I'm around someone who drinks more and it's there and it's like, hey, let's go out for a cocktail or let's have a glass of wine with dinner or like, we're gonna watch a movie. Let's, you know, shall we open a bottle? And I'll be like, well, I'll have a glass, I guess. And then I realized, like I was drinking like substantially.

Johanne Walker (33:31.903)
I'm just the observer.

andrea (33:59.711)
more than I've drank in a very long time. And I just, I didn't feel good about my body. Like I felt like I was getting, my body was getting inflamed again. And I'm like, okay, this isn't, this isn't good. This isn't good for me. And like, we had a lovely time together and it was like, he drank a lot, but that wasn't the main reason why we're not together. It was just he, and I'll take my own personal responsibility here too, right? Like we,

Johanne Walker (34:28.191)
I was just gonna name call him just cause, but I'm like, I'm being, I'm being very nice here. Hang on.

andrea (34:29.854)
Wait, I know, because you're like that. I know I can see you being so nice and I see you. I see. And you are not a you are not a fence rider. To like long story short, we just didn't sit. We simply don't have long term compatibility.

Johanne Walker (34:36.35)
Cause I'm a friend, so I'm like your friend, I'm like...

No.

Johanne Walker (34:49.501)
so eloquently put.

andrea (34:50.845)
At all. As much as I love wit and banter and like, hey, how's it going? Like whatnot, it's like, I need deep conversations too. Like I need emotional intimacy. I need that. And I'm not willing to settle for less. So we didn't have long -term compatibility.

Johanne Walker (35:04.476)
Yeah!

Johanne Walker (35:16.477)
Yeah, it's called he was unavailable.

andrea (35:19.933)
Yes, he was, right, emotionally unavailable.

Johanne Walker (35:24.124)
Isn't that how he's in your phone right now? So Andrea puts when you date her, just so I know there's a lot of ex -boyfriends that listen to this podcast, which I think is hilarious. You all have nicknames in Andrea's phone. I think you tell the truth. Go.

andrea (35:26.237)
Yeah.

andrea (35:37.149)
I'm like, how much do I say right now?

Okay, okay. So any, so when I end things with a guy, when he ends things with me, I change his name in my phone. I don't delete him from my phone because they always come back or they always send you a message eventually. And you know, like time heals all wounds. When you think back on things.

Johanne Walker (35:54.94)
Always.

Johanne Walker (36:02.492)
Maybe she'll forget what an idiot I was.

andrea (36:04.796)
Exactly, and it's like I know myself too and I'd like to I choose to see the good in people for the most part So it's like if it's like three months and someone messages me out of the blue, it'll be like, hey, how's it going? Like I'll be civil and I'll be nice. So to make sure I don't go down that same road because Men only get one chance with me. Do you remember that they only get one chance and if you screw it up you screw it up That's it So to make sure I stay true to myself

Johanne Walker (36:11.355)
Yes, you do.

Johanne Walker (36:27.804)
Well, yeah.

andrea (36:33.724)
I changed their name in my phone. So I'm friendly reminded when they message me exactly why they are not in my life.

Johanne Walker (36:43.259)
So what's his name in your phone? You need to tell us. It's the best.

andrea (36:45.883)
emotionally unavailable asshole with a limp dick.

andrea (37:02.939)
I'm blushing. Yes.

Johanne Walker (37:08.027)
I think that's awesome.

andrea (37:13.723)
So, yeah.

Johanne Walker (37:16.506)
Here's your firstly.

andrea (37:26.106)
yeah.

Johanne Walker (37:27.994)
I just think the limp dick part of the...

andrea (37:33.241)
The piece de resistance

andrea (37:42.809)
Well, I remember, I will say one more thing. I remember after we broke up and we went out to, the whole family went out to Other Ship to celebrate Dan's birthday. I think we were at Other Ship and I was sitting at Other Ship and I was beside Alex and we were having a conversation. And I feel like it was like one of the first, he's a conversationalist and,

Johanne Walker (38:06.297)
He's great at conversations, isn't he?

andrea (38:11.097)
I think it was like one of the first like extended conversations that I've ever had with Alex, like more than just like small talk, be like, hey, how's it going? And like I was telling him like, so me and Dom broke up and he's like, okay, like, are you okay? I'm like, Alex, I am perfectly fine. I'm like, can you do something for me though? And he's like, of course I can. I'm like, if I ever date another man with a butterfly tattoo on his chest, can you please talk to me? Like, what was I thinking?

Johanne Walker (38:17.881)
Yeah, yeah.

andrea (38:40.216)
Did I tell you that? Okay, okay, I was like, I think I told you that, but I can't remember. He's like, I got you. I got you, okay, I can do. Because he came from a point of caring and concern. And I love that about Alex. He's like, are you okay? I'm fine, I'm very, very okay. Remind me though, to never take a minute. Or take a pause if he has a huge tattoo of a butterfly on his chest.

Johanne Walker (38:44.375)
What did he say? What did Alex say?

Johanne Walker (39:08.215)
And...

Johanne Walker (39:12.727)
At Christmas, we all wear onesies, right? We all wear onesies, it's our thing. I personally think it's brilliant because you literally don't have to get dressed for three days. It's like, what's going on with my onesie? Yeah, and we all look the same. But we got Dom a onesie for it. And the kids were like, I'm like, Andrea's bringing her boyfriend. They're like, okay, that's fine. But he had his.

andrea (39:14.743)
Yup.

andrea (39:25.047)
And it's comfortable, like.

Johanne Walker (39:40.407)
onesie all the way down to his belly button, which I thought was a little much, but you know, fine. And then he had everything rolled up, but it was the kids that was like, they were like, well, Alanna and Alex mostly are like, what's up with Dom and the freshly inked tattoos? Like at his age, like are those new tattoos? I'm like, I have no idea. Like I don't even know.

Are they fresh? Like how was I supposed to know? And Alanna's like, those are super fresh. And then I don't know what happened, but I think the kids talked to you anyway. It was really funny. But he, he was like, seriously, he really wanted a lot of attention because it's like his onesie was open and it was for all the world to see.

andrea (40:13.462)
Yeah, they are. You can tell.

andrea (40:27.382)
Well, and he had it rolled up to the knees to show off the tattoos he had on his knees too. I'm like, you're trying, like, and I'm thinking about him like, he's trying way too hard.

Johanne Walker (40:37.525)
But at what though? Like at what? Like I get it that our family's hard to infiltrate. I mean, hey listen, I liked the guy. I didn't particularly care for him for you, but I'm protective over you. Anyone that doesn't treat you like...

andrea (40:39.093)
But like, yeah.

andrea (40:58.292)
phenomenally, like the goddess that I am.

Johanne Walker (40:59.381)
Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I even feel that way about, you know, and I keep it to myself. I try to, although.

Johanne Walker (41:12.884)
Cause it's hard, let's just face it anyway. You know, your girlfriend who like, it's not only are we friends, but we like work together and we have a podcast together. And it's like, and my family is all encompassing and my kids are grown up. So everybody's friends and everybody's not afraid to say how they feel. So it's just really funny. He was at the butt of a lot of jokes.

andrea (41:20.725)
Yep. Yep.

andrea (41:33.38)
yeah, like I'm nervous, like the next guy that I date who I deem worthy of meeting you and Dan, like I'm actually nervous for him.

Johanne Walker (41:45.108)
Why though? I don't get that. Anyway, whatever. No, I just think it's funny. Anyway.

andrea (41:49.556)
Is that another conversation for another day? Well, actually, like I'm nervous for him because I feel like.

andrea (42:01.556)
like

Maybe it's like every guy's just, I don't know. Let me come back to this. I don't know.

Johanne Walker (42:10.674)
Okay.

andrea (42:13.939)
Huh. Like I'm nervous, I'm nervous for him.

Johanne Walker (42:14.963)
Well, I will say that my family, we're very honest about how we feel and what's going on. So if you're looking to like, if you're looking to like come in under the radar or be a jerk and not be called out for it, like that won't happen. And anyway, it's open free for all. Like anyone will say hell, you know, like, what does that mean? Or really?

andrea (42:20.787)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (42:33.029)
Yeah.

andrea (42:39.475)
Yeah, like what's that?

Like, are you sure you wanna do that?

Johanne Walker (42:50.514)
But I really feel like that's such a healthy relationship too. Like it speaks to like being who we are.

You know, because there's definitely things we don't say. But we'll say it to each other clearly. But anyway, it doesn't really matter. I stand behind that, you know, as long as anyone's treating you well, you know, then they're great. But if they're not treating you well, and it's like, you don't deserve that.

andrea (43:09.842)
Yeah, yeah.

andrea (43:19.921)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (43:29.041)
And then that's when it's just kind of like, hey man, like why are you letting that happen? Like what's going on with you that you think that that's okay behavior that people can actually treat you like that. Right? And I think it really started to happen here, like in my family, because I spoke to it with the kids.

andrea (43:39.249)
Yeah.

andrea (43:50.513)
Mmm, mhm.

Johanne Walker (43:51.537)
Right? Like as they were growing up, it's like, Hey, that's acceptable. That's unacceptable. Like really teaching everyone like how to navigate the line. Right? Like you're navigating the line for yourself. So it's like, I'm not saying I got it figured out, but if you feel like I've, if you feel like I've gone too far or I've overstepped, then please talk to me about it. Right? Cause that is not my intention.

andrea (43:59.792)
Okay.

andrea (44:04.368)
Mmm.

andrea (44:15.889)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (44:19.12)
Like as your mother, that is not my intention. But everyone has to find their line, navigating their line in every relationship. Because if you're not navigating the line, then you're not having the conversations that need to be had. And, you know, everybody needs to be on check. Right? Like I need to be kept accountable. My family needs to be kept accountable. It's just how you navigate things. Because if you're not being accountable to like who we are surrounding ourselves with.

andrea (44:33.103)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (44:48.783)
then we're in denial that we're just like living on some like, like skating through life like, hey, or no. Yeah, or you're not saying how you feel. Right? And then you're kind of like, like all that undercurrent. Well, you know, like, then you're just angry and pissed off the person. And then it becomes passive aggressive behavior.

andrea (44:54.576)
Yeah, like happy little island over here.

andrea (45:00.079)
Right.

andrea (45:09.551)
And then you get resentful about it too. Right?

Johanne Walker (45:11.887)
Yes, and no one's really good at pulling off resentment. Just saying. For the record, like if anyone that's listening, if you're not saying how you feel and you think you're doing a really good job about covering it up, you're not.

andrea (45:25.039)
You're not. And if you don't say how you feel, you know what happens? Lowers your vibration.

Johanne Walker (45:32.331)
my god. I think I just almost threw up.

It's true though.

andrea (45:39.663)
Don't want to lower your vibration.

andrea (45:47.247)
man.

Johanne Walker (45:48.014)
my god, that's so Yogi, it's so barfy.

andrea (45:50.606)
thank you.

Johanne Walker (45:53.358)
I only want to hang out with people that vibrate as high as I do.

andrea (45:57.358)
Good vibes only, right? Good vibes only?

Johanne Walker (46:02.03)
But the funny thing is that you actually have to like speak your truth, have good vibes.

andrea (46:02.67)
UGH

andrea (46:06.606)
Yes, you do. You have to get messy.

Johanne Walker (46:08.238)
You know?

Yeah, it's going to get messy. It's the same as like what you did. Well, I mean, I think you're modeling it at this point, to be honest, like just like calling yourself out, stopping drinking. You changed your bios on your dating app to a non -drinker. Talk about boundaries. Like you, you worded it. I just love, honestly, Andrea, I just really, really, I love you sent me all your dating app bios.

andrea (46:22.286)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

andrea (46:41.101)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (46:41.645)
And I was like, solid, solid, solid, solid.

andrea (46:44.749)
Because I was like, okay, like is this, is this, like I wanted to make sure it was clear. So I wanted you to read them as like a third party to make sure it was clear.

Johanne Walker (46:50.252)
Yeah!

Johanne Walker (46:54.764)
It's clear because you're asking for what you want. You're unclear when you're like, hey, you know what? I'm just open to like all different kinds of people. No, you're not. Nobody is. Like who's going to get along, you know, with you, number one, right? Like we don't like everybody. I mean, we've seen the chaos that happens when, you know, someone is, you know, either dating or.

andrea (47:11.533)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (47:23.692)
brings into a family someone that doesn't jive with the family.

Johanne Walker (47:30.22)
You know, I've seen it break apart my family on so many levels. You know, when someone has chosen someone that doesn't meld and then all of a sudden, you know, they're not a part of your everyday. And you're like, it's so fascinating why they chose them over me.

andrea (47:30.86)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (47:57.675)
Like personally, I don't get it at all You know, like I would I was just honestly I was saying it to my kids all my kids are in in great relationships with partners that are cohesive to our family But you could definitely see through and I'll speak for myself just choosing Relationships when you're like meldable like you're malleable like even my kids like when you're malleable and you're kind of like searching like I

andrea (48:01.932)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (48:22.699)
Mmmhmm.

Johanne Walker (48:27.018)
I just want love. I want someone to love me. I want someone to understand me. And then they meet someone and you're like, right. They start pulling back, you know, right away that other person starts turning them on the family. It's just like, do you not see that?

andrea (48:47.082)
Mm -hmm. Mm.

Johanne Walker (48:48.01)
Like, all of a sudden, you know? Like, ask yourself.

What's going on here, man? You know? Like, hello? Okay, I'll do whatever you say. Sure.

andrea (48:59.306)
Yeah. Wow.

andrea (49:05.066)
hahahaha

Johanne Walker (49:09.098)
Like, do you not have your own opinions?

andrea (49:11.434)
Mmm, -huh.

Johanne Walker (49:13.097)
Like I was always saying to the kids, you know, it's better to have opinions and be wrong or corrected or, you know, being corrected and being corrected, right? To like maybe the facts, but it's okay to have your opinion from your side based on all the information that you have. But it doesn't mean that you're, maybe your opinions are limited based on the amount of information that you have, but don't be afraid to say how you feel.

You know, I've had that conversation a lot with the kids, especially as they're like dating. I mean, they're in their thirties and they're dating. It's like, it's way better to have an opinion than be on the fence.

Johanne Walker (50:00.648)
you know, and be open to interpretation and be okay to say, hey, you know, I didn't know that side. Thank you for sharing that side, you know, but at least you have a side.

andrea (50:01.769)
Yeah.

andrea (50:09.)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (50:15.912)
You know, cause you can always like, I just, I don't know. I don't know. That's how I feel. You know, and I really feel like, I really feel like the older I get here, the more opinionated I am.

andrea (50:30.952)
Really? Interesting. Is that the power of your 50s?

Johanne Walker (50:32.296)
Yes! I think it's a rite of passage.

Yeah.

andrea (50:44.423)
Uggghhhh...

Johanne Walker (50:44.583)
Yeah, like it's just like, you know what, like it's funny. Dan and I were sitting there talking today and we were saying, I just looked at him and I said, you know what, we're 19 years being together. Like, I'm really glad I chose you. You know, I still really like you. Like I like your opinions. I don't have to agree with them all, but I like the fact that you have an opinion. You know, I really like the fact that you like me.

andrea (51:03.398)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

andrea (51:16.071)
One could even say, he loves you.

Johanne Walker (51:19.046)
Yeah, but you know what? I think you can love someone and not like them. Very different, you know? But if you're looking at your husband and it's like, you know what? I don't even like you anymore. It's like, you need to reassess ASAP.

andrea (51:23.174)
That's true. That is very true. Yeah.

andrea (51:33.638)
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Like.

Johanne Walker (51:37.926)
You know, and it's like exactly like where we're going back to. Like if you're, if you're like way off on your diet, it's like, you need to like pull it back in. You know, you don't need anyone to tell you that, you should stop doing this. Everybody knows, everyone knows when they're indulging too long.

Right?

andrea (52:01.99)
Yeah, it's getting honest with yourself.

Johanne Walker (52:03.461)
It's just getting honest with yourself. You know?

andrea (52:08.101)
And the only person who's gonna come to save you is you. So like you said, nothing changes if nothing changes. So save yourself and change something. Get curious, explore.

Johanne Walker (52:12.869)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (52:17.861)
Yeah. You know, yeah. And then the first thing you'll be like, you don't even know. Like that was the biggest gift that I got from stop drinking alcohol was I actually had no more excuses to like really see myself than who I was and how I was navigating. Like I was navigating pretty great. But like I said, I was able to clean up.

andrea (52:30.052)
Mmm.

andrea (52:36.901)
Hmm.

Johanne Walker (52:45.86)
Like I got really clear on my relationship, like I didn't have a gluten problem. I had a drinking too much red wine problem.

andrea (52:46.213)
Mmm.

Johanne Walker (52:57.924)
You know? Yeah.

andrea (52:58.596)
I love that.

Johanne Walker (53:02.051)
I didn't have a husband problem, I had a drinking red wine problem.

andrea (53:04.931)
Okay.

andrea (53:10.596)
man.

Johanne Walker (53:12.387)
And sometimes I swear, you know, talking to different people, it's like, you know, people don't want to give up the alcohol because then they have to take a really good look at their life.

And that's it. It's like choosing, you know, we choose to see what we want to see. But the biggest thing is, is like assuming self responsibility. Like, and the choices that we're making, you know, because being happily married is a choice.

andrea (53:39.875)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (53:50.115)
Period. You know, every single day. Feeling healthy and great in your clothes and in your own body is a choice that you make every single day by what we're putting into our bodies. You know, sugar creates fog.

andrea (53:50.883)
It's a choice you make every single deck.

Johanne Walker (54:11.779)
Moving your body, it's a choice.

And then I think that the big thing that comes into play is like how we choose to hear our own voice too.

andrea (54:24.098)
how we choose to hear our own.

Johanne Walker (54:27.106)
Yeah, that was another big gift that I got not drinking alcohol, was I realized that a lot of my negative thoughts were self -induced.

andrea (54:28.45)
Like how we like.

andrea (54:33.825)
Mmm.

andrea (54:42.562)
Hmm.

andrea (54:47.01)
Really?

Johanne Walker (54:48.258)
Yeah. Right? Like, it's like, I could choose to see it this way or I could choose to see it that way. You know? Right now, I just choose peace of mind.

Johanne Walker (55:03.489)
Just choose peace of mind and vitality.

andrea (55:06.338)
Hi.

So making decisions to bring you peace of mind and bring you vitality. Okay, I like that for you. I really like that for you.

Johanne Walker (55:14.944)
Yeah.

Thanks.

And you never have to look very far on little things that you can change. So it's just like ask yourself, like, how can I bring more peace of mind and more vitality to myself right now? What can I do right now to give myself peace of mind?

andrea (55:37.441)
That makes it so simple too. It's not like you're overhauling your entire life. It's like, what can I do right now? It can be something really simple.

Johanne Walker (55:43.872)
Yeah, I need to clear out my fridge and get divorced.

andrea (55:48.864)
Well, it could be that too. Or it could be, I need to go for a walk or have a bath. Or clear out your fridge and divorce your husband. Yeah. Depending on where you're at on your journey.

Johanne Walker (56:00.927)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (56:05.792)
Exactly. You know, and it's those moments, but you just have to like see where, see where you're at. So it's just like, what do I have to do right now for peace of mind?

andrea (56:07.84)
Mm.

andrea (56:15.84)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (56:18.016)
You know?

Maybe, yeah, maybe it's go outside, go for a walk. Maybe it's make a phone call to someone that you've cut out of your life.

andrea (56:31.263)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (56:32.894)
because you didn't want to admit to yourself that, you know, I don't know.

Whatever. You're wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Like how, how much of you being right is taking over your life and how much are you losing in your life to be right?

andrea (56:42.847)
I'm right, you're wrong.

andrea (56:54.271)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (56:56.19)
Right? Right?

andrea (56:58.079)
Right? Right?

Johanne Walker (57:04.606)
And it doesn't have to be that complicated. It doesn't have to be that hard.

andrea (57:08.478)
No, make it simple, make it easeful Yeah, I like that.

Johanne Walker (57:13.598)
So right now we're not having any processed sugar. Yeah. Yeah. So I had cheese today. That's how I'm making it. Simple and useful.

andrea (57:16.478)
Yeah, now we're making it simple and easeful.

andrea (57:25.886)
I love that. What type of cheese did you have?

Johanne Walker (57:28.158)
It was a nice, decent, solid chunk of Balderon's two years.

andrea (57:35.838)
Good choice.

Johanne Walker (57:37.086)
Yeah, it had no Triscuit and no pickle, no sweet and sour pickles. She was a lone soldier today. I looked at her and I said, you and I are going to become very good friends.

andrea (57:44.222)
That's okay.

andrea (57:51.518)
We're in the throes of a love affair with Balderson, two -year -old cheese right now.

Johanne Walker (57:56.189)
Yeah, because I started thinking about it. It's like, you know what? I'm only giving up sugar. I'm just choosing to not have it anymore. I don't want to be too hard on myself. So I've decided that I'm not going to give up cheese.

Johanne Walker (58:13.276)
Cause cheese brings me happiness.

andrea (58:15.934)
brings you joy, right? And peace of mind. So.

Johanne Walker (58:18.269)
Yes, and peace of mind. Yeah, it was one of the very first cards that I ever bought Dan when we got together was the cover was I love you more than cheese.

andrea (58:26.782)
Mmm.

andrea (58:33.886)
So fitting, so very fitting.

Johanne Walker (58:34.908)
And so when you opened it up, I wrote, and you know how much I love cheese.

andrea (58:42.75)
I love it. So heartfelt. Perfection. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (58:45.276)
Yeah, it's the real thing, right?

the real thing. I realized that I did not put my phone on recording. So my phone has just been like getting emails and people texting.

andrea (58:50.462)
Yeah.

andrea (59:02.894)
do not disturb you mean? Okay, because I'm like, I'm recording over here. I don't know why you need to be recording.

Johanne Walker (59:04.251)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (59:09.307)
because I changed, you can change in your iPhone the emoji, do not disturb, focus, personal. I added recording.

andrea (59:15.038)
okay. Recording. Look at you, fancy pants. Fancy pants. Okay. Well, shall we wrap it up over here? Yeah.

Johanne Walker (59:20.763)
be cool. Just recording over here. You know.

Yes.

Hey, I just, I think you are amazing.

andrea (59:34.494)
Thank you friend, I think you're pretty amazing too.

Johanne Walker (59:37.978)
Thank you. Yeah, I just, yeah, like you're amazing because like you, you're not riding the fence anymore and you're taking responsibility everywhere. And I think it's super sexy. Yeah. Yeah.

andrea (59:55.454)
I try. I'm doing. Not trying, I'm doing. I'm doing. I'm doing.

Johanne Walker (59:59.18)
Yeah, and for the record, Andrea has a really hot date this weekend with a pediatrician.

andrea (01:00:05.022)
I do. He plays squash and has a boat.

Johanne Walker (01:00:06.553)
Yes.

Johanne Walker (01:00:11.449)
and doesn't drink alcohol. I mean, that's amazing. But isn't it great that you just got so clear in your bios of what you wanted?

andrea (01:00:12.638)
and doesn't drink alcohol.

That's been like.

andrea (01:00:21.854)
What's been really great is that it's simplified the weeding process for me by being so super specific and super clear. It's like, I now know exactly what I want and what I'm looking for. And if someone comes in and being like, hey baby, what's up? Cause you still, I still get these messages being like, my God, you're so gorgeous. Let me take you out. Some of them my screenshot and I mean to send to you and I forget. Cause it's like, I'll get really bad pickup lines too. Or I'll get like,

Johanne Walker (01:00:47.449)
Mmm.

andrea (01:00:51.678)
No, I'm like, just, seriously. And I'll look at the profile, because I'm like, okay, I'll let this guy shoot his shot. And I'll look at the profile and read through it. I'm like, this is a big hell no. And it's like, it's an automatic, like there's no variance for me. There's no, maybe. And it's like, nope, nope, not into him at all. Not interested. Yeah. I remember, I will end on the story. I remember I went out to a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago in the junction and I ordered a coffee and it wasn't at the croissant place.

Johanne Walker (01:01:08.825)
That's how you get what you want. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:01:20.728)
You ordered a coffee at a coffee shop? What?

andrea (01:01:22.654)
I'm like, no, can you believe it? That's not the story. I ordered an Americano and I was just gonna take it black. And I'm like, do I actually want it black? I'm like, no, I don't. So I called the guy and I was like, can I actually get some cream on the side? And if you have cinnamon, can you sprinkle cinnamon on it? Because I like cinnamon on my Americano. And he's like, of course, I'll see what I can do. I got this for you. I'm like, thank you, I appreciate that. And I remember sitting there, I'm like, I just ordered exactly what I wanted.

And I'm like, even like the cinnamon sprinkles, because I usually like put cinnamon sprinkles on my Americano when I make it at home. And I was actually, I sat in that and I'm like, I'm actually really proud of myself because I asked for exactly what I wanted. And I got exactly what I wanted and it was great.

Johanne Walker (01:01:52.824)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:02:08.056)
Good for you.

andrea (01:02:09.047)
Thank you. Thank you.

Johanne Walker (01:02:12.088)
So that needs to be everywhere in your life.

andrea (01:02:14.039)
Mm -hmm. Like you said, it's a muscle. You just start strengthening it. You start flexing it everywhere.

Johanne Walker (01:02:20.759)
But as women were conditioned to, it's like the martyr. it's okay, I'll just sacrifice over here. I won't get that because I'm gonna give it over here. Or it's like, I'll just be quiet. Nobody really wants to hear what I have to say. I'm like, I wanna hear what you have to say.

andrea (01:02:38.167)
I'll just be the wallflower in the back. No one will see me.

Johanne Walker (01:02:40.15)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'll say like, even when you would say, when I say Andrea, like, what do you mean by that? You're like, well, I don't really know what I mean by that. And then I'd be like, well, you just said you want this. And now you're saying you don't know what you want. Like you just said that's what you want. Like, are you not used to anyone listening to you?

andrea (01:02:57.238)
Mm -hmm.

Johanne Walker (01:03:05.814)
Yeah. Do you know who taught me about listening was Dan. Like they say, like, he's a great listener. And it's like, they say you need to hang out with people that meet you and elevate you. And I definitely did that with my husband. And he did that with me too, just differently.

andrea (01:03:09.269)
Mmm, he's a good listener.

Johanne Walker (01:03:30.037)
But it's like, yeah, he definitely listened to me. And I realized before I met him that almost nobody listened to me for sure. Kids definitely weren't listening. Like my family was so sick of listening to me. Everything that Johanne has to say, they like had. And I'm sure everyone can relate. It's like, am I talking to anybody here? Is anyone listening to me? You know?

andrea (01:03:30.294)
Yes, gold star.

andrea (01:03:42.901)
Mm -hmm.

andrea (01:03:52.629)
La la la la la.

Johanne Walker (01:03:58.197)
Nobody's listening to me. The kids are all like on their devices. Your husband's like watching TV or something. Fuck my life.

andrea (01:04:03.285)
Yeah. Well, it's like me and the dogs. I'll say something to them and there'll be no response. No response. No response. Then all of a sudden it's like, OK, I'll come over now. Like, seriously, guys, come on. Like, I know you're slow moving animals here, but can we have a little bit of more like something like hello? Hello. Hello. Are you there? Like, are you conscious? Are you sleeping? What's going on?

Johanne Walker (01:04:10.324)
Yeah!

Johanne Walker (01:04:14.324)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:04:21.396)
Yeah, enthusiasm. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:04:28.532)
Yeah, and then all of a sudden you blow up and everyone's like, what's wrong with you? Do you have your period or did you have a bad day? You're like, why is no one listening to me? Right?

andrea (01:04:40.628)
Why does it have to get to the point where you blow up that people start listening to you? Why does it have to get that far? Because that's what I used to really struggle with, where it's like I wouldn't say anything or I would say something but no one would listen to me and it would get to a point where I would have to go super crazy mad for anything to be done or to be heard.

Johanne Walker (01:05:03.635)
Yeah, but I'm not surprised, Andrea, because you weren't even listening to yourself. You know, like, it would be like, I'm listening to you, you just said that, you're like, God, I did. And I'm like, yeah, like, if you're not listening to yourself, how do you expect other people to be listening to you? So it's like, you know, that's where it starts with telling the truth on yourself.

andrea (01:05:07.027)
Right.

andrea (01:05:18.899)
Exactly.

andrea (01:05:24.435)
Yeah, it starts with you, or it starts with me, or it starts with you, like, respectively.

Johanne Walker (01:05:26.643)
Yeah. Like accountability starts here. And so as soon as you start listening to yourself, then you, you know, the ripple effect is that you listen to other people, right? Cause what they say matters if you're in a loving relationship, what they say should matter. Right. And then it's like, okay, this is how it goes here. This is how it's supposed to be.

andrea (01:05:38.099)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

andrea (01:05:52.499)
Yeah. Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:05:54.995)
Anyway, we'll just add on the power of listening.

andrea (01:05:56.467)
Yeah. We'll just tune in next week when we talk about the power of listening, everybody. Thank you for listening. Like, follow, subscribe. Please open my door. Send us a DM if there is a lingering topic that you would love our two cents on because we would love to chin -wag about it. And we have a Google review going on or feedback form.

Johanne Walker (01:06:08.883)
Yeah.

Johanne Walker (01:06:13.587)
Mmm.

andrea (01:06:23.411)
just so we can get better at what we do here and cater our podcast to what y 'all are looking for. So I'll leave the direct link in the information description box. And we would love, love, love if you could take three minutes. Y 'all, y 'all, it's being inclusive, Johanne inclusive languaging. Y 'all, y 'all.

Johanne Walker (01:06:37.04)
I love that you said y 'all, you're like Britney Spears. Y 'all.

me, I'm like, you're like Britney Spears.

andrea (01:06:47.987)
But thank you, I appreciate that. I'm the redheaded Britney Spears, right?

Johanne Walker (01:06:53.169)
Well, yeah, the good Britney days.

andrea (01:06:55.027)
Thank you for clarifying. And I think that's it. Do you have anything to add? No? Well, thank you. Thanks for chatting. Always a pleasure. I love you.

Johanne Walker (01:07:01.04)
No! I look forward to seeing you soon.

Okay. Love you too. Bye.